Fibronaut At Home

I Really Miss Working

on May 15, 2014

Really?  Yes.  Really.  I miss working so much.  I loved getting dressed up for work, feeling a sense of purpose every day, knowing I was supporting my family.  I miss my co-workers and I miss my customers.  When the reality set in, that I wouldn’t be going back to work anytime soon, I was in denial.  I had a hard time just driving by my old job, which is on the main street where I live.  Seeing people from work depressed me, even seeing them on Facebook.  I had to remove their posts from my news feed just so I wouldn’t get depressed.  The guy who cleans the bank where I used to work lives the next block over and drives by my house several times a day.  Every time he drove by, I was reminded of what I used to do and what I would never have again.

My brain has had a much easier time of admitting how much I miss working.  I have dreams that feel like they are real about work all the time.  My most recent one was pretty hilarious.  I was at my old desk at work and one of the loan officers needed me to close a loan for them.  We were lending money to Kanye West.  I am giggling as I type this.  Never, in a million years, will Kanye West ever walk into our little town, let alone, the little Ag bank that I used to work at.  Seriously, brain?  Kanye?  I did meet him and start to close the loan.  He was very polite in my dream.  Maybe that’s what woke me up.

That I can even talk about my little work issue is amazing.  I feel like I’ve grown so much in the past year.  I even looked at some former co-workers Facebook pages with only a little bit of melancholy.  I miss them so much.  I’m so glad for the time Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome has given me with my kids.  I used to wish I could stay home with them, but knew it would never happen because I HAD to work.  Funny how life kind of gives you what you need most.  I fought it, I over-thought it and I hated it.  It’s time to accept it and move on.


4 responses to “I Really Miss Working

  1. revgerry says:

    Maybe you’ll find a new purpose as a writer?

  2. Julie Ryan says:

    I think we have to rediscover our purpose. I know this is something I’ve been working on and have had many conversations with my husband over. Also, this post is a great response to anyone who thinks that we enjoy sitting at home watching tv all day.

    • csgomez79 says:

      It’s funny because I don’t even turn on the TV anymore. I get my positive music going and I check Facebook and e-mail but I really try not to get lost while doing these things.

      • Julie Ryan says:

        Same here. It’s rare that I bother turning on the tv. I stay busy with writing and researching – on days when my brain is alive. It’s a bad day if the tv is on before hubby gets home.

Keep it positive...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

My Journey 2 Scratch

"The secrets to life are hidden behind the word cliché" - Shay Butler

just a dad with disney questions

reading into things way too much...

hessianwithteeth

This site is all about ideas

Im ashamed to die until i have won some victory for humanity.(Horace Mann)

Domenic/havau22.com / IF YOU CAN'T BE THE POET, BE THE POEM (David Carradine) LIFE IS NOT A REHERSAL,SO LIVE IT.

The Better Man Project

The world needs better men. Every day, through living life and learning from success and failure, I write about my life, what motivates me, and how I stay inspired to keep grinding towards achieving my dreams. Welcome to thebettermanprojects.com

ultimatemindsettoday

A great WordPress.com site

Hodgepodge 4 the Soul™

Family * Faith * Inspiration * Laughter

salty*mom

Tutorials and ideas for the love of DIY

Rentbillow's Blog

"RentBillow" spelled backwards is "WolliBtner" which means "awesome" in a language I just made up.

takingthemaskoff

addiction mental health stigma

Dr. Patty's Chronic-Intractable Pain and You Sites, Inc.

Always A Safe Place To Talk About Pain

Take-Two Style

A new style…all preloved, recycled and 'economical'

Let's Face the Music

Renovating an old house by a musical couple who want to live there the rest of their lives.

Big Red Carpet Nursing

You Can Thrive, with The Right Tools

Painful Hilarity

Aches, breaks and other hilarious things!

In The Key of Weakness

My journeys as I attempt to live well and thrive with chronic illness.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 545 other followers

%d bloggers like this: