Fibronaut At Home

Another day of defeat

on March 23, 2012

It is noon and I’m still in my pajamas.  Which, when I think about it, isn’t that bad, considering I didn’t wake up until 9:45.  I’ve got my arms propped up by pillows because holding them up to type is more than I can handle right now.  There are two baskets of folded clothes next to the couch.  Yay for me folding clothes, two days ago.  With 3 kids and one hubby, it is already time to wash clothes again.  My little Emma has already dumped the kitty’s food into their water, found a black vis-a-vis marker and decorated her face, arms and legs and been up on the bathroom counter, trying to cut her own fingernails.  My kitchen is a mess, which should be impossible.  I have a dishwasher and I have an automatic floor cleaner after all, but I also have the 3 kids and one hubby.  Now, Emma is grabbing my face, forcing me to look at her and telling me “I hungry Mama!” but now she’s looking at DVD’s, so I might have five more minutes before I have to get up.  I take my pain meds when I wake up, so you’d think I’d be feeling pretty good right now.  My knees hurt.  My hips hurt.  I’m PMSing so my lower belly hurts.  I’ve been typing for 15 minutes so now my shoulders, elbows, fingers and everything in between hurts.  Sharp pains, aching pains.  Emma says “you hurt Mommy?” because I can’t keep the grimace off my face.  Ha!  It just occurred to me that McDonald’s Grimace is purple and that’s the color for Fibromyalgia Awareness.  Perfect!  Something has spooked Emma and now she is straddling me, patting my back.  Katie had a party today to celebrate the end of their two weeks of swimming lessons at school, but it was at 10:15 and that is too early for me.  Her volleyball game is at 9 am in Kersey tomorrow.  We have to leave at 8 am just to be there in time.  Which is one more thing I’m probably going to miss out on.  I’ve been thinking about getting in the shower for the last hour.  Every time I go to actually get in, I’m distracted by the mess of my house and I forget to look for the weather report.  I finally know that it is supposed to be beautiful and 77 degrees today but I’m unable to get excited about it.  I’ve already missed so much of the day.  I can’t reclaim those seconds, minutes or hours.  They are gone, wasted.  This is what Fibromyalgia does to you.  Takes away your will to live.  Second my second.  Every second you hurt and lay there thinking you’ll get up and do something as soon as you feel better and suddenly it’s time to take your meds again and you realize that the moment you’re waiting for isn’t coming.  There is no escape from the pain.  There is no cure.  What am I supposed to do with that?  I have to get in the shower because I have to pick up my kids from school, but come this summer, what is going to get me off the couch?

Advertisements

One response to “Another day of defeat

  1. Find Focus says:

    There is nothing else to say except – I completely understand… 🙂

Keep it positive...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

ultimatemindsettoday

A great WordPress.com site

The Better Man Project ™

a journey into the depths

theGoodVader

Growth, together

The Elephant in the Room

Writing about my experiences with: depression, anxiety, OCD and Aspergers

mystical lunarose

Chronic pain, Rhumatoid Arthritis, Alapecia Areata,Rants, and Raves

My Journey 2 Scratch

"The secrets to life are hidden behind the word cliché" - Shay Butler

just a dad with disney questions

reading into things way too much...

hessianwithteeth

This site is all about ideas

Im ashamed to die until i have won some victory for humanity.(Horace Mann)

Domenic/havau22.com / IF YOU CAN'T BE THE POET, BE THE POEM (David Carradine) LIFE IS NOT A REHERSAL,SO LIVE IT.

Envision Your Future Online

Helping you Improve your Online Business

ultimatemindsettoday

A great WordPress.com site

Hodgepodge 4 the Soul™

Living Life with Jesus

Salty*mom

Tutorials and Ideas for the love of DIY

Rentbillow's Blog

"RentBillow" spelled backwards is "WolliBtner" which means "awesome" in a language I just made up.

takingthemaskoff

addiction mental health stigma

Dr. Patty's Chronic-Intractable Pain and You Sites, Inc.

Always A Safe and Nonjudgmental Place To Talk About Your Chronic Pain

Take-Two Style

A new style…all preloved, recycled and 'economical'

Let's Face the Music

Renovating an old house by a musical couple who want to live there the rest of their lives.

%d bloggers like this: