Note to self: When you tell the acupuncturist that you felt funny feelings in your tummy during the treatment and she tells you that she placed the majority of the needles so they would help with your bowels, that means that you will probably have no control over when you fart for the next couple days. She said that everything was in balance except for my large intestine. You think? Walking out to meet her at her kitchen table, I farted. Loudly. I thought it was maybe a fluke, but no. I’ve been farting at the worst times all weekend! Walking through the restaurant at my birthday dinner. Making Emma a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She yelled “You farted!” and giggled because she was sadly at booty level. I’m glad everything appears to be flowing better and I usually enjoy a good fart joke, but come on! I haven’t crop dusted like this since I was pregnant. “Keep walking! Don’t ask questions just keep walking!” Those preggo farts were the silent but deadly variety. The ones that are slipping free now are loud and proud. I think I’ll just go with it and own up to my flatulence. Instead of “Excuse me”, I’ll say “You can thank my acupuncturist for that” or “That’s just my large intestine attempting to balance itself”. Feel free to borrow those if you are unfortunate enough to have any public performances. Until next time Fibro-fighters!