Feeling lost today. The kids are back in school and my littlest is in preschool. What should I be doing? Now that I only have to worry about me for three days of my week, I feel like I’m not sure where to start or what to do. I’m almost panicking because I’m realizing that it is almost one o’clock in the afternoon and I haven’t done anything. In not wanting to do too much, since I need to be able to drive this afternoon to pick up the kids, I’ve ended up doing nothing! I’m freaking out about hearing people outside and wondering “What if someone rings my doorbell?” Seriously. This is what I’m freaking out about. I suddenly have all this time and I know that there are things I should be doing. What a waste of my time.
Still feel like I’m going to hyperventilate! I thought about not posting this, but since my blog is my support group it would probably help if someone (anyone?) could tell me I’m not losing my mind.
All the things I could’ve worked on today but didn’t:
Laundry-I have 4 loads to fold.
Dishes-my stove top is covered in pans because while my kids can load and un-load, me and the hubby are responsible for the heavy duty stuff.
Sewing a border on all my napkins I cut earlier this year but haven’t yet sewn the border so they unravel a little more every time I wash them. I also have about 10 things on my “Want to sew list” but every time I start one it isn’t 10 minutes before my back, hands or arms are killing me. I use a machine so how hard could it be.
Picking up all the crap that has been strewn from one end of my house to the other by my children.
Mopping the floor.
Walking the dog.
Going to walk in the warm pool.
Take a shower.
Do my “Yoga for Aches and Pains” DVD I got from the library.
These are all things that I would like to accomplish but every single one of them seems insurmountable because every time I start one, I either don’t have enough energy to finish or my pain is too great to finish.
I can do it! Even if I can’t do it, I need to just get up off my you-know-what and do it. I can do eet! Even if I don’t do that much, it is better than doing nothing.
Thanks for listening. I always feel better when I talk to you all. Maybe next time I’ll write about what is really bothering me.