It is one o’clock in the afternoon, my blogging time. I am in ready position. Hands on the keyboard. Support under my elbows. Full of topics to blog about. Where do I start? I’ll mention the obvious. I’m already in pain and I’ve barely typed anything. It is time for me to eat lunch and take my medicine but I am going to ignore my alarm so I can get this out.
I was nominated by http://painfighter.wordpress.com for the “One Lovely Blog Award”. Thank you so much for nominating me and for reading and commenting and all the support. This blog and other bloggers are my support group, which every doctor I see and every book I read says it’s important for Fibro Fighters to have that.
I think that the rest of my post, in which I’m supposed to say seven things about myself, will be free-form and I’m sure I’ll say 7 things about me and that there is a good chance that half of those things will be TMI.
Just yesterday, I started writing in my journal again but am taking a different approach. I’ve decided to concentrate on the following:
- Make realistic goals and keep them.
- From now on, the couch is your last resort.
- Eat at the table for as long as you can.
- You have to want to get better, even if what is better is something different than what you used to be.
- There are no more excuses and no more wasted days.
I then made a separate list of my 5 realistic goals. These are things that bring me happiness and will help keep me centered. I will do these every day, whether I do anything else or not.
- You will shower every day.
- You will do dishes or laundry every day.
- You will write five positive things about yourself and your life every day.
- You will meditate or do yoga or practice some other relaxation technique every day.
- You will hug your kids and kiss your husband every day.
I then decided that I would reward myself with activities I enjoy for doing these basic things. My neighbor’s daughter has been living with fibromyalgia for 25 years. She told me not to focus on the pain. The only way I can do that is to focus on things that I can effect outside of my body. I’m not going to focus on the things that I can’t do but I am going to enjoy everything that I can. Instead of being afraid of my body, I’m going to be conscious of what my body is telling me and move on.
I’m waiting to hear from the disability company. I can’t do anything more to prove to them that I am unable to give the little time that I get during the day that is pain-free to a job. It is not that I don’t want to work, it is that I cannot. I am in constant energy-saver mode. If I do too much, I pay for it, either with pain or with fatigue.
I am done focusing on the pain and the fatigue. Yes I hurt. Yes I’m tired. But I’m alive. I’m a mother to three beautiful children and a wife to a very sexy, very supportive, uber-awesome husband. I have focused enough energy on looking back, wishing things were different and hurting for those things that I’ve lost.
Thunder is rumbling in the distance and maybe that’s why I have so many aches today but right now the sun is shining and I am looking ahead to lunch and then to picking my kids up from school and helping them with their homework. Peace out (imagine two fist-bumps to the chest and then a peace sign)!