No experience necessary. If you are young, creative and muscular, then you are the one I am looking for!
Pre-Chew beef-jerky and rice-krispy treats (unless you have a better idea for how I can eat these without jaw and teeth pain the next day)
Assist me with any other dining related difficulties, including:
Taking my three-year-old to the restroom when she finishes eating and constantly asks to go, even when she just went. Prepare for at least 10 trips to the restroom.
Wrangling my three-year-old when she gets bored and starts running around the table full-speed while squealing with glee, tripping unsuspecting waiters and annoying everyone in her vicinity.
Chewing for me when my jaw starts to hurt, usually about 5-10 minutes into the meal.
Cradling my head and humming to cover up my snores when I grow too exhausted to stay awake. I would also appreciate a gentle reminder to close my mouth when I’m zoning out so I don’t drool. Don’t waste your time snapping in my face, I zone out all the time.
Summer: Being a human blanket for me in the sub-zero air-conditioning (I am always under the vent for some reason).
Winter: Being a human blanket in case of seating in the draft from the door or poorly insulated windows in the winter.
Warning: I do not mention pay because with the exception of pre-chewing and humming, my husband already does all of these things for me free-of-charge.