Fibronaut At Home

A Poem For Fibromyalgia

on April 30, 2013

I just found out that April is National Poetry Month.  I wrote a poem about Fibromyalgia to celebrate.

A Lament of Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

“Show me where it hurts,” you say?
Well, tell me, have you got all day?
Head, shoulders, knees and toes,
The pain it stays, it never goes.
Hips, back, fingers and gut,
Fibro is an actual pain in the butt.

Insomnia keeps me up at night,
Then all day long, it’s sleep I fight.
Fibro-fog’s the funnest part,
I forget what I’m doing before I start.
With all of the pills I take every day,
Why won’t the pain and fatigue go away?

Is this fibro-diagnosis junk?
Am I just in some sort of funk?
Is all the pain inside my head?
Maybe I should try this or that instead?
Until you’ve held spoons in your hand,
Then you cannot begin to understand.

Invisible, my illness may be,
But watch me closely and you will see.
I cringe when I move, stand or walk.
My face hurts whenever I eat or I talk.
I conserve energy however I can.
My good moments are a flash in the pan.

Yoga, acupuncture, grounding, meditation.
Name it, I’ve tried every new health sensation.
Lyrica, Cymbalta, oxycontin, oxycodone,
Flexerall, Fentanyl and hydrocodone,
All these and more I’ve tried.
They made me wish that I had died.

Write in a journal, and go way back,
Try to figure out why you’re out of whack.
Join a support group, listen to others whine,
Then you’ll realize you’re doing fine.
Take it easy, take it slow,
Breathe deeply, calmly, go with the flow.

Gluten-free is the way to be?
I don’t have the time or the money.
I want to be healthy and eat right,
But our budget is already way too tight.
Sugar and caffeine are bad they say.
When I’m dead, you can take those away.

My Cognitive Behavioral Therapist
Told me what others think of me is none of my business.
But when you can’t work and have to prove you’re sick,
What others see is what makes you tick.
Especially when you feel okay,
You struggle with guilt for feeling that way.

Different doctors say different things,
Depends on which drug company is pulling their strings.
Once I say Fibro or Chronic Fatigue,
They act like my health is out of their league.
I just want to be treated like a human being,
Not like the head case they keep on seeing.

My house, car and life is a mess.
I’ve got too much anxiety and too much stress.
Whenever I manage to take a shower,
Rest and recovery takes an hour.
My definition of dirty and clean
Do not mean what you think they mean.

Every activity is well thought out,
Even then, there is always doubt.
What if I start to hurt half way through?
How long do I rest before I can continue?
What if I need more than a short nap?
What if I still feel like crap?

There is a storm coming in day after tomorrow,
The pain starts today and the fatigue will follow.
No matter the temperature, no matter how nice,
I do way too much and pay for it twice.
I need to move to a climate with nary a storm,
Where the sun is always shining and it’s always warm.

I could go on and on about all this crap,
But I’m starting to yawn and it’s time for my nap.

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13 responses to “A Poem For Fibromyalgia

  1. jgs350 says:

    Excellent! I loved it! Wonderful, amazing writer 🙂

    • Karin Fahey says:

      Everything I wanted to say but couldn’t find the words. You rock! I am 50 and fighting this every step of the way. Took two walks today! One with my husband in the dark around the neighborhood. It’s like Spring here. Rain is coming tomorrow night. I can tell. My body starts to hurt in the joints and muscle pain creeps in also. But we have to keep encouraging each other. This is an awesome website. Thank you for your poem!

  2. Love it! Thanks for sharing! Bravo!

  3. tiredella says:

    Wow, really great poem! You expressed everything pretty well considering the rhyme scheme you were working with, which usually makes things tricky

  4. dipalmoo says:

    You’ve captured it exactly! I’ve felt all those things too. FMS is a mean disease.

    Good luck with your SS disability. Don’t give up, even if you’re rejected at first. Keep appealing (as exhausting as it is). It took me a year and a half, but I was finally approved. It probably wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t had a lawyer, though–have you thought about that? There are advocates who just do SSD work, and they work on contingency, so you don’t have to pay them anything up front. The law is a minefield for us laypeople, and expert guidance can make all the difference!

    • csgomez79 says:

      We decided to try on our own before getting a lawyer.

      • jgs350 says:

        I did that at 1st-I applied and when I got denied the paperwork gets so flipping confusing and I got an SSD Appeals attorney that didn’t take a fee unless I won. He was amazing-he worked hard and dug up ALL my medical records from even yrs ago to present as my evidence. I think the world of him-he was honest and to the point. He said I had a good case and proceeded. My appeal was in May 2011 and my appeal hearing was Friday April 13th 2012. I won on the spot w/the judges deliberation. The lawyer was worth every penny of my 20% backpay for 1 1/2 yrs. I cannot recommend an attorney enough. Find a reputable one w/good reviews/recommendations. I wish you the best of luck and will keep you in my prayers for a good outcome! Hugs to you! And keep up the wonderful blog and posts-I’m an avid fan 🙂

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