Weekends have always been the most difficult times for me. My normal schedule is interrupted by family events, kids’ activities and whatever else didn’t get done during the week. I rarely get to rest like I need to because we’ve always been ones to get started early with whatever we’re doing. So I often push myself too hard on the weekend. With only one income, we are less likely to squander any time at an activity that we’ve paid for, such as the zoo or the museum, since we don’t know when we’ll next be able to afford to do something fun outside the home. That means that we leave as early as possible and stay as long as possible. I spend most Mondays recovering. My husband works all week and has the most desire to get things done on the weekend. When the kids are in school, this is not a problem but during the summer, weekends are hell. I don’t get several days during the week with the kids in school to recuperate. I’m in Mommy mode 24/7.
We had family visiting from Texas this weekend. It is now Wednesday and they left on Monday but I am still recovering. We had some stormy weather come in yesterday so today has been spent trying to get comfortable with the lingering aches from this weekend and the headache and body aches from the weather. We did so much this weekend and I didn’t want to miss out on anything. Two full days is nothing when you haven’t seen someone you love in what feels like forever. I have learned that there are some moments in life, that no matter the consequences you have to grasp. Pain and fatigue are going to be there whether you are sitting on the couch alone or going somewhere with your family. Focus on the smiles and laughter. This is the hardest part for me because it hurts my face to smile or laugh.
We went to an amusement park. I did things with the little kids mostly. They wanted to swim, which mostly involved standing in the shallow end of the wave pool. There was some walking between the kiddie area, the wave pool and our cabana, but I took it slow. A couple trips on the lazy river holding my three-year-old in an inner-tube was doable. One trip down a raft ride was a huge mistake though. There were a lot of stairs and I was shaking and nauseous by the time we got to the top. I almost gave up but figured it would be easier to climb the rest of the way up and ride down than to trust my shaking legs with walking back down. With the reserved cabana and plenty of other adults, I was able to rest as much as I needed. I took the two youngest on little kid rides and they were tall enough to ride by themselves thankfully. I sat a lot, hurt a lot and yawned all day but I had fun. Fun! Such a foreign concept to me now as I spend most of my time just trying to be comfortable enough to be present.
We also went fishing the day before but I spent the majority of that venture in my lawn chair. But I was there. That is the important part. Just call me the human bump on a log. I don’t care. I was in my element, watching my kids and their cousins on the playground, refereeing their disagreements and laughing at their antics. So I’m still recovering three days later. Who cares? It isn’t like I have anywhere else to be or anything else to do. I would like to be working on my daughter’s Birthday present. I would rather be sewing and laundry is piling up again. I have a very dirty bathroom and should be cleaning it but that just isn’t going to happen right now. I am going to watch the rain and hope that the aches subside soon.
I’ve already spent too long on this post according to my fingers and my shoulders. As I’ve been zoning out for the last five minutes, trying to determine how to end this post, it has stopped raining and the birds are playing in the puddle at the end of our driveway. I can see some blue skies on the horizon and the sun has started to shine through the gray clouds. A kid is out riding his bike already and a little squirrel just scampered across the lawn. Now the birds are singing and I am zoning out again. The pain is still here, along with the fatigue. I feel like I have cotton for brains. I’m hungry and there are plenty of leftovers but I’m feeling kind of down so I’m craving chocolate cupcakes. Weekend Warrior + Fibromyalgia + CFS = the rambling randomness of this post. And I still don’t know how to end this.