Fibronaut At Home

Dear Summer

Dear Summer,

I waited all winter for you.  Through the cold and the snow, I longed for your warm embrace.  I dreamed of the day when you would finally hold me in your arms again.  I just knew that when you came, my pain would lessen, and I would no longer be a shadow of my former self.  With you, I would be better, stronger and happier.  With you, I could do anything.

Now you’re here and I wonder what the funk-n-wagnall’s I was thinking!  Almost every afternoon, your moody ass brings a chance for rain.  Every drop of the barometer is like a ton of bricks, weighing me down, making me sluggish and amplifying the pain.  By the time I’m up and moving in the afternoon, the storms start rolling in and by then, I’m in too much pain to accomplish much.  

In the winter, I could take a hot bath when the pain became too much.  With you, every storm brings lightning with the pain, leaving me without the hot bath relief.  So I use my heating pads, which makes me sweat like a pig.  Attractive, isn’t it?  Every muscle on my body hurts and so I rotate my two heating pads from one painful spot to the next.

When the sun is shining and I decide to relax in its warmth, whatever shorts I’m wearing feel like a million tiny little bees are stinging my skin.  If it is extremely hot and I go somewhere to escape the heat in air conditioning, the air conditioning makes me hurt.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I think it’s time we go our separate ways.  I know that sounds impossible, seeing as how I live in Colorado and you are, well, everywhere.  There is just no compromise to be had here.  My body needs some consistency in the weather, not all these mercurial weather patterns.  You know I love your beautiful flowers, longer days, singing birds and bountiful gardens, but I need more than just a pretty face.

Delusionally yours,

Fibronaut at Home

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Another “I Can’t Sleep So I Might As Well Post” Post

I haven’t posted in a month. Mostly because my daughter has demanded use of her Kindle Fire.  I don’t know if I mentioned it before, but I dropped our laptop, breaking the screen.  So I only get to post and do other internet stuff when she allows it.  Yes.  She does take unnecessary glee in demanding her device just when I’m thinking I might have a post in mind.  Also, I just haven’t felt like myself lately, and my creativity has taken a backseat to vacations and the blahs.  Enough with the excuses though.  I can’t sleep and it is the middle of the night, so I have no excuse now.  There is something rattling around in my head. 

My niece is visiting and while she’s not staying with us, I watch her during the day.  She is six years old and like my nine and eleven year old, can do most everything herself.  Having three girls in the house is three times the drama.  Do every combination of alliances that a four year old, six year old and nine year old could form, including the equation of all three girls ganging up on my eleven year old son and you will see my dilemma.  DRAMA!!!  Plus, I don’t get as much rest as I need and if I need to take a nap, I can’t.

We went to Chuck E. Cheese for lunch two days ago.  My husband met us there and we left when his lunch hour was over.  Unfortunately, my niece and I seem to have picked up a stomach virus while there.  Consequently, my tummy feels like someone has been punching me, from the inside.  Big f-ing deal, right?  Yes.  It is a big fibromyalgia deal.  (WARNING: Non-sexy TIM follows)  Yesterday morning, when my stomach pains and diarrhea from the night before were still present, I was concerned that the 500 mgs of Naproxen that I take each morning, along with all the other medications, were becoming too much for my stomach to handle.  So I did something colossaly stupid.  I only took one 250 mg pill of Naproxen.  This resulted in me having even more pain, all over my body.  I answered the question of whether the Naproxen is working or not, but I paid the price for that knowledge.  Once I found out that my niece was sick also, I wished I had taken the full dose of Naproxen.  Especially when the storms began to roll in that afternoon.  Not only was I contending with added pain from the lower dosage of Naproxen, but I also had the added fun of pain from barometric fluctuation.  Sounds like fun, right?  I also ended up on puke bucket duty with my niece while someone else took my kids swimming.  I had to drive my kids to the pool, clean up after my sick niece and try to take care of myself.

Because I couldn’t tell if my tummy was hurting because I was still sick, or because my tummy muscles were sore from all the action they were getting, or because I was starving, I kept trying to force toast.  Then my tummy would hurt worse, my symptoms would worsen and it was like I was starting all over with this illness.  I made myself eat soup and applesauce for dinner so that I could take my 250 mg Naproxen with dinner.  I again couldn’t tell if I then had hunger pain or food in my tummy pain.  I felt like I had a return of my appetite, so I ate a little chicken and mashed potatoes.  What a huge mistake.  Return of the big D, stomach cramps and pain.  I know I need to give my tummy a rest, but I also need to take my medicine.  Pre-fibromyalgia, I would just hold off on the meds that upset my stomach and keep pushing fluids.  I had my hubby get me ginger ale, but that didn’t help either.  I took a bath early yesterday, before I knew I was sick, but that just wore me out, over-heated me and did not help my sore muscles in the long run.

I feel like I might be able to sleep now.  Sweet dreams.

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