Fibronaut At Home

Dear Winter

on September 26, 2013

Dear Winter,

When it was hot in the summer and I was sweating profusely, I pined for you.  I couldn’t wait for you to render me useless beneath heating pads and heated blankets.  I longed for luxurious soaks in Epsom salts baths.  My only desire was to alleviate my pain without sweating like cold drink on a hot day.  No more sweaty under boobs, cracks or crevices of any kind.  No more painful blasts of air-conditioning.

Well, I guess I’m just not ready to commit.  It has become quite clear, that I don’t know what I want or need.  This past Saturday was the first day of Fall.  You know Fall right?  Lower temperatures, kills off all things green?  Sometimes, it rains.  Sometimes, it snows.  Sometimes, it just blows.  

It started yesterday afternoon.  I had been feeling my normal, ho-hum self all day.  Then came the Brick Wall of Fall.  I felt like my battery had suddenly been drained.  And the pain!  Everything hurt.  Face, neck, head, arms, shoulders, hands, elbows, ribs, gut, hips, knees, thighs, and feet.  Pain, pain, everywhere and not a thing to help.  I have one heating pad, since the fire fiasco.  I was already too exhausted to take a bath.  I listened to my “Bedtime Beats: The Secret to Sleep” CD and was able to relax enough to go to bed.

The remainder of my night went like this.  Wake up from dead sleep to use the facilities.  Go back to sleep.  Wake up from dead sleep, in absolute terror, because it sounds like my son is crying and my hubby is yelling like they are being attacked.  Resist the urge to kill hubby, when I realize he is watching “The Walking Dead” and that accounts for the sounds that woke me up from a sound sleep.  Wake up to daughter crying.  Wake up to daughter coughing and Daddy trying to help but Daddy has work, so here I go again.  Sit up with daughter until she falls asleep.  Surf Facebook, because now I’m wide awake and the more my daughter snores and sleeps blissfully, the madder I get that I can’t sleep.  Sleep the rest of the night, eventually.

I feel I’ve digressed, slightly, from my topic.  Hold on a second.  I need to go to the top of this letter and remember why I was writing you a letter in the first place.  Oh, yes.  I remember now.  I was trying to let you down easy.  Since I hurt too bad to sugar coat it anymore, I’ll just put it this way.  Winter, you suck.  I’m not ready to hurt every minute of every day.  I’m not ready to be so tired I can barely walk, let alone do the five hundred other things being a Mom requires.  Also, I was just thinking that maybe I should try selling some of the stuff I sew.  Thanks for taking that dream away from me as well.  I can barely get my kids to and from school and their sport’s practices like this.  My poor Hubby is so grouchy from his work situation, that I am the only one getting anything done around here.

Not to be harsh, but nobody likes you.  Maybe, when it snows and the ground is covered in white and glistens in the sun, but that is the only time.  And, maybe, when you leave the trees all frosted in the morning.  Other than those two instances, you could go away and I wouldn’t miss you at all.  I guess what I’m really trying to say is, I would rather be sweaty, in pain and fatigued from doing more than normal, than to be in pain, fatigued and pretty useless for no good reason at all.

Sincerely,

Fibronaut at Home

PS.  I just realized, this morning, that we would soon have a Daylight Savings Time event.  Bite me, Fall!

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7 responses to “Dear Winter

  1. TTD says:

    I’m totally with you on this! I’ve never liked winter, but even more so since fibro came to stay.
    Our clocks change on the last Sunday in October, but it’s already dark at 7.30pm now. I must start using my light box in the mornings, soon.
    Roll on Spring Time!

    • csgomez79 says:

      What is a light box? Spring is usually my favorite time, until Daylight Savings Time starts again.

      • TTD says:

        Yep, Spring is my favourite season too.

        http://wheek.it/a2y6q This is light box I have. It makes up for the lack of light we get during Autumn (Fall in your language!) and Winter, and you use it every morning for an hour. If you get one, make sure that it has 10,000 Lux. I definitely feel better using it, than I would if I didn’t.

  2. Oh, I think my next post will have to be an ode to my light box! (They are for people who have Seasonal Affective Disorder.)
    Fibronaut, I am mostly with you on this. I live in Minnesota!! But so far, except for not being able to breathe thanks to my ragweed allergies, I love fall. Early fall, that is. And Indian Summer. And I can deal with winter until after the holidays. But this past year we didn’t get spring here until JUNE. We had snow in May. I will go stark raving mad if that happens again.
    And I have begun enjoying regular night sweats, which are SO nasty when the bedroom is freezing cold. Ugh

    • csgomez79 says:

      This last Spring in Colorado, we had snow into April. I don’t think we had any in May, but I can’t remember. It was rough. I’ll have to look into that. Usually, as long as I open my shades, I’m okay. It’s when I sit in the dark living room that I have a harder time getting started and staying upbeat.

  3. Ms. Ladybug says:

    I so can relate to your post. I have been in pain non-stop for the last two weeks. It started with a trip to the mountains and the change in altitude affecting me badly. When we came home it was to a storm front pushing in and my pain escalated. I had to force myself to accomplish some cooking I had committed to for a wedding. By the time it was done, I was in bed for a couple days. The weather has continued to be rainy and wet and cloudy and blustery and I have not had a decent nights sleep. To top it all off…I am pretty sure I am going through menopause. My sweats are out of this world. I have the fan on my 24/7 with my blanket nearby. Blanket and clothes off, blanket on, clothes off, clothes on blanket off, clothes on blanket on. My body can NOT decide what temperature to be at. I LOVE summer but the heat this year almost did me in. I am sorry to see the dry weather leave, but am preferring the cold temperatures. I just don’t like what they do to my joints. Arggggh…..I guess I’ll just take a nap! At least you aren’t the only one…and neither am I.

    • csgomez79 says:

      Trips to the mountains didn’t used to bother me, but they definitely do now. I even struggle with trips from where I live North of Greeley, CO, to my parent’s house in Aurora, CO. I am not to menopause yet, but PMS is unbearable. PMS plus a storm front or a little stress puts me out for the count. And last, but not least, this is why I love blogging. At least I know I’m not alone.

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