When it was hot in the summer and I was sweating profusely, I pined for you. I couldn’t wait for you to render me useless beneath heating pads and heated blankets. I longed for luxurious soaks in Epsom salts baths. My only desire was to alleviate my pain without sweating like cold drink on a hot day. No more sweaty under boobs, cracks or crevices of any kind. No more painful blasts of air-conditioning.
Well, I guess I’m just not ready to commit. It has become quite clear, that I don’t know what I want or need. This past Saturday was the first day of Fall. You know Fall right? Lower temperatures, kills off all things green? Sometimes, it rains. Sometimes, it snows. Sometimes, it just blows.
It started yesterday afternoon. I had been feeling my normal, ho-hum self all day. Then came the Brick Wall of Fall. I felt like my battery had suddenly been drained. And the pain! Everything hurt. Face, neck, head, arms, shoulders, hands, elbows, ribs, gut, hips, knees, thighs, and feet. Pain, pain, everywhere and not a thing to help. I have one heating pad, since the fire fiasco. I was already too exhausted to take a bath. I listened to my “Bedtime Beats: The Secret to Sleep” CD and was able to relax enough to go to bed.
The remainder of my night went like this. Wake up from dead sleep to use the facilities. Go back to sleep. Wake up from dead sleep, in absolute terror, because it sounds like my son is crying and my hubby is yelling like they are being attacked. Resist the urge to kill hubby, when I realize he is watching “The Walking Dead” and that accounts for the sounds that woke me up from a sound sleep. Wake up to daughter crying. Wake up to daughter coughing and Daddy trying to help but Daddy has work, so here I go again. Sit up with daughter until she falls asleep. Surf Facebook, because now I’m wide awake and the more my daughter snores and sleeps blissfully, the madder I get that I can’t sleep. Sleep the rest of the night, eventually.
I feel I’ve digressed, slightly, from my topic. Hold on a second. I need to go to the top of this letter and remember why I was writing you a letter in the first place. Oh, yes. I remember now. I was trying to let you down easy. Since I hurt too bad to sugar coat it anymore, I’ll just put it this way. Winter, you suck. I’m not ready to hurt every minute of every day. I’m not ready to be so tired I can barely walk, let alone do the five hundred other things being a Mom requires. Also, I was just thinking that maybe I should try selling some of the stuff I sew. Thanks for taking that dream away from me as well. I can barely get my kids to and from school and their sport’s practices like this. My poor Hubby is so grouchy from his work situation, that I am the only one getting anything done around here.
Not to be harsh, but nobody likes you. Maybe, when it snows and the ground is covered in white and glistens in the sun, but that is the only time. And, maybe, when you leave the trees all frosted in the morning. Other than those two instances, you could go away and I wouldn’t miss you at all. I guess what I’m really trying to say is, I would rather be sweaty, in pain and fatigued from doing more than normal, than to be in pain, fatigued and pretty useless for no good reason at all.
Fibronaut at Home
PS. I just realized, this morning, that we would soon have a Daylight Savings Time event. Bite me, Fall!