I’ve just started writing in my journals again and had to share what I just wrote. I was smiling and giggling when I finished writing it and then reading or singing or doing the motions, so I hope it makes you smile and giggle too.
Always look on the bright side of life! (commence whistling part)
(repeat however many times you feel like)
(giggle and smile)
Chant while pointing your pointer fingers to the ceiling:
YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!
(This is the Daniel Bryan chant from WWE. Even I do it with the crowd. Sometimes my hubby and I look at each other when we aren’t watching wrestling and do this. It’s contagious.)
BIG CHEESY SMILE!!!! (was on my face so I wrote it down)
Cute and cuddly boys. Cute and cuddly. (One of the Penguins says this on “Madagascar” and I love to say it in his voice.)
Mr. Bluebird’s on my shoulder. It’s the truth. It’s actual. Everything is satisfactual.
Zippity-do-dah! Zippity-ay! Wonderful feeling! Wonderful day!
(repeat as many times as it makes you giggle)
SMILE!!! (do this)
Feeling ready to take on the day! Let’s get it!
I don’t know if it is just me, but I get really sad after visiting the doctor. I have felt blue all day. I don’t know if it’s because there is really nothing new when I go there or if I’m let down because he doesn’t say, “Surprise! There’s a miracle pill just for you!” I have a feeling it’s a little of both. Today, he talked to me about grape seed extract, fish oil and upping my thyroid meds three days a week to see if that helps. He sells the grape seed extract for only $57.50. No thank you. I’m not saying it wouldn’t help, but I’m pretty sure I could get it cheaper somewhere else. I was taking fish oil last year and he scoffed at it and said something about it not really helping anything. Grrrr! Now you want me to take it, but let me guess: You want me to buy it from you. He also gave me a list of online resources and other things I could do to have better days. I’m already doing a lot of what he suggested, so I guess that’s good.
I’m torn between whether I should find a new doctor or not. On the one hand, this doctor is very sympathetic to fibro and willing to think outside the box. On the other hand, he is so far away, the hubby has to drive me, and he is always trying to sell me some kind of vitamin or herbal remedy. I would love to find a doctor in my area, but dread going through the whole process.
I’ve been keeping to myself lately. I haven’t posted on either of my blogs since January 31st. I’ve been trying to do things differently and weirdly, didn’t want to jinx myself if things went well. I’ve thought a lot about what I do when I have good days and how I can accomplish more on bad days.
I had my Social Security Disability hearing in February. It was at 9:30 in the morning, which means, I didn’t have a brain. For about two weeks, every time my mind wandered, that’s where it went. I had to start keeping myself busy with cleaning, reading, sewing and anything else that would occupy my mind and get it away from that black hole of worry and self-flagellation.
I haven’t yet heard anything, but I’m trying to stay positive. The big positive that came from the hearing so far, is that the occupational expert didn’t think I could work in a competitive work situation doing what I have experience in.
This Monday begins Spring Break for my kids. I’m fully prepared to do whatever is possible to remain sane. I’m really hoping for nice weather so I can just kick them outside. If I’m lucky, family members will take them off my hands from time to time. If they are lucky, I’ll sleep well, we’ll have good weather and I won’t kill them.
I’ve missed you all and it is good to be back.