I was cleaning my house and debating on whether I should post about how much better I’m doing. I worry about how others will perceive my progress. Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome are not contests to see who has the most pain or is the most tired. A lot of the Fibromyalgia support sites I follow on Facebook have too much if a “woe is me” attitude. There was a time when I needed that and when I needed to feel like people understood what I was going through. Every day, I move more towards a feeling that I don’t want Fibromyalgia and CFS to be the only thing people think about when they see me. I don’t want to talk about it all the time, like I used to. I want to hear about you and your beautiful life and all the awesome things you are doing, despite this illness. I want to talk about how much better I’m doing without hearing, “So, you’re better now?” No. I will never be cured.
I love all my fellow sufferers but, we need to remember something: Fibromyalgia and CFS are not terminal. If you are suffering from other things, I totally understand how it’ll be different for you. Everyone’s experience is different. We shouldn’t judge others based on their experiences and we shouldn’t judge ourselves either. For me, I have to remind myself daily that life is what I make it. I have choices from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed. I have to “suck it up” and do what I know I need to do. When we are playing games and my kids ask me, “Am I winning?”, I always ask, “Are you having fun?”. If their answer is yes, I tell them they are winning. I guess the next time someone asks me how I’m doing, I’ll say I’m winning.
(Picture a super-satisfied smile on my face right now. That’s how much I love me right now)