I have to keep reminding me of this. I cannot begin to describe how proud I am of myself and how far I’ve come. Not everyone gets my recovery though. Although I want to explain, I have to stop myself. When I was ill, I grew to hate that every conversation I had was in reference to fibro and CFS. The same thing can happen in wellness. Everyone wants to know what helped and while I want to share, the answer is not simple. Simplifying what I did to get where I am now, feels like I’m belittling all I’ve accomplished.
Once I start breaking down everything I’ve been doing to be well, I start thinking I can do without some of those things. I tried taking only one Naproxen the other day. I had one of my worst days in memory. I worked out, blogged, did laundry and cleaned house. Out of nowhere, along with the extra little pains, came the depression. I realized I wasn’t listening to my music either. When I don’t listen to my music and I’m not dancing around and singing, I carry all this tension in my body. I’m gritting my teeth and my brain is going deeper and deeper inside itself. Then come the negative thoughts.
Lesson learned: I don’t need everyone to understand. Those who are close to me, know. My hubby gets it and my kids get it. Having to listen to music, work out, create, eat right and recycle, these are all things that give me positive vibes and help me cope with all the other junk of life. It’s not a bad thing to need these. The bad comes when I deny my soul the things I need to flourish. I feel so much better having written this. Deep breath in and deep breath out. I’m content.