Fibronaut At Home

Go Susie! Go Susie! Go Susie! Go Susie!

SQUEEEEEE!!!!!

I did it.  I went on an interview.  Phew.  It went really well and I’m feeling really good about this.  No ifs, ands or buts.

I have a huge balloon full of squeals in my chest.  I let a really long squeal out as soon as I was in my car.  Good thing I was parked around the corner.

Probably the best part of the interview was when I was able to say that I was confident my fibromyalgia or CFS wouldn’t affect my ability to do any of the tasks associated with the job.  THAT IS HUGE!

Now, I’m off to walk the dog and I have so much happy energy, I’m going to ZUMBA when I get back.

YAY!

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Killing Two Birds With One Stone

Not literally.

Today, in continuation of my happiness project, I vacuumed out my van.  It has not been vacuumed in YEARS!  The sad state of my van is one of those things that bugs me daily, not to mention embarrasses me anytime someone else sees it.  I was waiting for my hubby to clean it and obviously my hints of “This van is so dirty” every time he was in it, weren’t working.  I’ve long since given up nagging about the cleanliness of my van and just kind of let it go.  Then, while reading “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin, I started thinking of things I could do for myself, that I normally nag the hubby about.  She talks about how it’s not really fair to expect her husband to do certain things just because he’s the man.  If I don’t want to do it, he probably doesn’t either.  I’ve now added “clean van” as one of my monthly to-do’s, because as I’ve noticed and as Rubin also talks about, doing something more often makes it easier to do.

Thinking back, there are other tasks I’ve taken on since I’ve started feeling better that normally I would reserve for the hubby.  I’ve taken a more active role with our dog, I’ve been more involved in the trash duties and I’ve been hanging pictures and other things myself, rather than nagging incessantly and cursing the hubby while he largely ignores my tirade.  I’m sure he appreciates the decrease in nagging as well.

I just looked and the title and realized that I forgot to talk about the dead birds.  In vacuuming the van, I have also worked out.  BOO-YAH!!!  Two birds, one stone.

Side laugh:  I was just doing my tags and I typed “two birds one stoner”.  LOL.

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The Happiness Project

I have finally started reading “The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun” by Gretchen Rubin.  Julie Ryan of Counting My Spoons, suggested the book to me months ago and I’m so glad that she did.  I’m only half-way through, but I already love the book and I’m heading back towards the totally awesome me that I found in April.  I’ve been in a slump lately, which is the main reason why I haven’t posted here.  I didn’t want anyone to know that I was struggling, though my hubby and my Mom knew.  I’m ecstatic and relieved that I’m back.

The main goal that is sticking with me now and that could be life-altering for anyone, but especially for others like me with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is, “Act the way you want to feel.”  I was already trying to do this and seeing that it worked for someone else, really helped me.  I think I went into a slump because I was starting to wonder if what I was doing was really working.  Rubin had a similar experience.  Reading that made me feel like I wasn’t alone in my doubts and gave me tools for combating the negative thoughts causing those doubts.

Even though I was doing all the right things, doubts crept in and the old conflict of to-work-or-not-to-work started playing havoc with my mind.  If I don’t work, there isn’t any money for extras and if I do work, there isn’t any time for extras.  I want a part-time job so I can still pick up the kids from school and spend my evenings and weekends with them, but most places only have full-time available, or I just can’t imagine working there.  I talk myself out of jobs before I even apply for them.  I have finally come to the conclusion that, when it’s right, it’ll happen.  When I find my mind going to that black hole of never-ending worry and what-ifs, I sing to myself, “Que sera, sera.  Whatever will be will be.”  A little silly, but it works.

We’ve also had extra stress dealing with some school issues.  I’m not going to go into it.  I think we’re almost through it and I can look back and see that despite all the stress, some good things have come out of going through this.

I’ve gone back to keeping track of all I accomplish each day.  Even if no one else notices, it makes me happy to see all these tasks completed.  I have a spreadsheet I found in Microsoft Excel that’s meant for a chores list, but works perfectly for me.  Each week, I’ll start a new spreadsheet, so I can look back and see how much progress I’ve made.  There are some tasks that I do daily, some I do twice a week or more and some I only do once a week or once a month.  I don’t have to look to my hubby or my kids for validation that I’m reaching goals.  I’ve also added several items since I started.

I’m learning to find the positive in every situation, no matter how bleak.  I’m learning to be grateful for where I am, who I’m with and everything that I once took for granted in life.  Those are some pretty big statements, but I’m confident in them.

I’ll probably post again about this book because there is so much helpful advice in it.  I would recommend this book to anyone, whether you feel like you are happy and especially if you don’t.

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I Was RUNNING!

Note:  Please read the title in Forrest Gump voice.  Thank you.

Part of my trial-and-error workout program is doing what I think I will enjoy.  My gut has been steering me towards running lately.  Not sure where this instinct came from, but on my walks with my dog and kids, I’ve been feeling like, “I can do eet!”  So I did.

I started slow, running behind Emma on her bicycle or in her Barbie Jeep.  My older two came along sometimes, but mostly it was Emma, Chewie and me.  I have an iPod Nano that will track my walks and my runs.  The music helps me find and keep a pace.  The first day, I ran sporadically, whenever Emma decided to go a little faster than a crawl.  Every day, I ran a little more.  Chewie, Emma and I all needed some practice coordinating who goes where and other logistics, but we have a pretty good routine down.

Well, we did.  Emma just started Kindergarten yesterday.  Now it’s just me and the dog, unless we go after school.  After going on one previous run with just me and Chewie, I wasn’t about to run yesterday.  Running without Emma to watch out for and direct allows me more time to think.  If I’m not careful, I get all up in my head and forget to concentrate on how I’m running.  Pretty soon, my shoulders are tense, I’m not breathing well and I’m feeling discouraged and negative and thinking on all things bad.

Here’s what I did today.  When my brain started rambling, I checked in with my shoulders and loosened them up.  I checked in with my breathing and made sure I was taking deep breaths and letting them out slowly.  I keep my head up and looking ahead instead of looking at the ground.  I made sure my chest was out, with my shoulders lowered and my tummy in.  I’m not sure if I’m doing this running thing correctly, but these things all seem to make the going easier.  Then, I just made a running loop in my head of all these things.  Almost like meditating while running.  Once you’re checking in with your body is automatic and something you don’t have to focus so much on, you go into your happy place.

When I get home, I stretch, take deep breaths and eat fresh fruit or veggies.  I think it helps with any sore muscles I may have.  

I’m up to a mile now.  I only stop if I need to stretch something out, or if we have a situation (other dogs, Emma meltdown, etc.).  I even pushed Emma on her bike, while running with Chewie and while she was screaming about her legs hurting.  I feel you, Emma!

Next month, I’m playing on a rec volleyball team with my hubby.  I cannot wait.  I never thought I’d be able to play volleyball again.  Like everything else I’m doing, I’ll stay positive, keep my head up with a smile on my face and remember to breathe.  Shoulders back, check.  Teeth unclenched, probably not, but that’s why I have to check.  Take a deep breath in, let it out slowly.  You got this.

anteater got this

Running soundtrack:  So far I’ve run to Paramore, The Ting Tings, Panic At The Disco, Rihanna, and Young The Giant.

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We Got This Wednesday

Today’s post will be short, as I’m in a major flare. That just means each accomplishment gets a major high five.
-I’ve kept the kitchen floor clean by sweeping every couple days.
-All laundry is washed and dried. As long as my hubby put that load in the dryer like I asked him to last night. To my knowledge, all laundry is washed and dried. The kids and the hubby are going to have a reunion with the iron and the wrinkle release cycle on the dryer.
-I went shopping with the hubby and kids on Saturday.

Here’s to us! Haters gonna hate. You do you and they can do them. What others think of us is none of our business. You’re welcome.

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We Got This Wednesday

  • I finished my Father-In-Law’s Elvis curtains.  Shhh.  We’re hanging them tonight, so don’t anybody tell him.  I’d show you what they look like, but my camera is kaput.

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  • I organized the bookshelves in the living room and put pictures we had taken in January in frames.

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  • I finished patching my daughters jeans.  Ditto with the kaput camera on these too.
  • I found Emma a Disney Rapunzel dress at Goodwill for $4.  I had to hand sew one hole, but Emma is now ready for Halloween.  I love poppin’ tags!

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  • I was able to drive to my son’s cross-country meet and cheer him on.

 

Now it is your turn.  Comment, blog or just reflect with yourself on all your accomplishments from the previous week.  No judgments.  No thinking of what you didn’t do or how what you did made you hurt or how long it took you to do it.  Just think about the triumphs, the smiles and the happy-dances.

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