Fibronaut At Home

I Got It!

This is a couple days late, but, I got the job!  The interview went great.  I felt so confident going into it.  I really worked on several key points that I learned from Gretchen Rubin’s “The Happiness Project”.  I acted how I wanted to feel; confident, happy, open, willing and able.  Instead of dwelling on what-if’s and worrying about what would happen or wouldn’t happen, I thought, “This is going to be fun!  This is going to go great!  I got this!  This job is mine!”, over and over.  Whenever I could feel my mind veering into uncertainty and fear, I repeated my mantra, smiled, and took a deep breath.  And it worked!

I was supposed to hear by the end of the week, but the manager called me a couple hours after my interview.  I start on Monday, and couldn’t be more excited for this next chapter in my life.  I have no doubt that I’m going to be able to balance work and family.  Knowing what my priorities are and focusing on what means the most to me is what’s key.  I know that I need to make sure I eat well and keep up with my exercise regimen to avoid any fibro or CFS flare ups.  Eating small snacks to avoid the shakes or hanger (hunger anger), making sure I take my meds on time, not focusing on little mistakes, laughing at myself, being patient with others and myself, will all be in the back of my mind.  All the things I thought I was getting away with before, but were really hurting me, I’ve done my best to address.  Now comes the test.  Can I do this?  Yes.  I can.

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The Happiness Project

I have finally started reading “The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun” by Gretchen Rubin.  Julie Ryan of Counting My Spoons, suggested the book to me months ago and I’m so glad that she did.  I’m only half-way through, but I already love the book and I’m heading back towards the totally awesome me that I found in April.  I’ve been in a slump lately, which is the main reason why I haven’t posted here.  I didn’t want anyone to know that I was struggling, though my hubby and my Mom knew.  I’m ecstatic and relieved that I’m back.

The main goal that is sticking with me now and that could be life-altering for anyone, but especially for others like me with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is, “Act the way you want to feel.”  I was already trying to do this and seeing that it worked for someone else, really helped me.  I think I went into a slump because I was starting to wonder if what I was doing was really working.  Rubin had a similar experience.  Reading that made me feel like I wasn’t alone in my doubts and gave me tools for combating the negative thoughts causing those doubts.

Even though I was doing all the right things, doubts crept in and the old conflict of to-work-or-not-to-work started playing havoc with my mind.  If I don’t work, there isn’t any money for extras and if I do work, there isn’t any time for extras.  I want a part-time job so I can still pick up the kids from school and spend my evenings and weekends with them, but most places only have full-time available, or I just can’t imagine working there.  I talk myself out of jobs before I even apply for them.  I have finally come to the conclusion that, when it’s right, it’ll happen.  When I find my mind going to that black hole of never-ending worry and what-ifs, I sing to myself, “Que sera, sera.  Whatever will be will be.”  A little silly, but it works.

We’ve also had extra stress dealing with some school issues.  I’m not going to go into it.  I think we’re almost through it and I can look back and see that despite all the stress, some good things have come out of going through this.

I’ve gone back to keeping track of all I accomplish each day.  Even if no one else notices, it makes me happy to see all these tasks completed.  I have a spreadsheet I found in Microsoft Excel that’s meant for a chores list, but works perfectly for me.  Each week, I’ll start a new spreadsheet, so I can look back and see how much progress I’ve made.  There are some tasks that I do daily, some I do twice a week or more and some I only do once a week or once a month.  I don’t have to look to my hubby or my kids for validation that I’m reaching goals.  I’ve also added several items since I started.

I’m learning to find the positive in every situation, no matter how bleak.  I’m learning to be grateful for where I am, who I’m with and everything that I once took for granted in life.  Those are some pretty big statements, but I’m confident in them.

I’ll probably post again about this book because there is so much helpful advice in it.  I would recommend this book to anyone, whether you feel like you are happy and especially if you don’t.

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Note to Self

Note to self:  When you tell the acupuncturist that you felt funny feelings in your tummy during the treatment and she tells you that she placed the majority of the needles so they would help with your bowels, that means that you will probably have no control over when you fart for the next couple days.  She said that everything was in balance except for my large intestine.  You think?  Walking out to meet her at her kitchen table, I farted.  Loudly.  I thought it was maybe a fluke, but no.  I’ve been farting at the worst times all weekend!  Walking through the restaurant at my birthday dinner.  Making Emma a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  She yelled “You farted!” and giggled because she was sadly at booty level.  I’m glad everything appears to be flowing better and I usually enjoy a good fart joke, but come on!  I haven’t crop dusted like this since I was pregnant.  “Keep walking!  Don’t ask questions just keep walking!”  Those preggo farts were the silent but deadly variety.  The ones that are slipping free now are loud and proud.  I think I’ll just go with it and own up to my flatulence.  Instead of “Excuse me”, I’ll say “You can thank my acupuncturist for that” or “That’s just my large intestine attempting to balance itself”.  Feel free to borrow those if you are unfortunate enough to have any public performances.  Until next time Fibro-fighters!

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Hello Again!

Hello again!  I feel like so much has happened and I don’t even know where to begin.  I’ve been to the acupuncturist three times now.  The first two times were to release all the negative toxins I have in my system.  This was a very exhausting process.  I have been so fatigued that I had only a couple days in the last two weeks where I had bursts of energy that allowed me to clean the kitchen and do laundry.  I squeezed in a couple walks around the block, but mostly was saving myself for picking my kids up from school.  This last visit to the acupuncturist was to try to balance all my stuff out (she said it differently, but you get the gist?).  Up until this point, I was kind of iffy on whether I thought she was actually helping me at all.  But this time, I felt like what she was doing was actually doing something to me.  I felt feelings in my tummy as I lay there and felt like I could breathe more fully than ever.  She felt like all my whatevers were in balance except for my large intestine and she feels that once we get that balanced, I should have less spasms in the rest of my body.  I’ve been given an herbal supplement Jia Wei Xiao Yao Wan to take and while I’m not looking for a miracle, I am cautiously optimistic.  I had to use the spelling hint to even spell optimistic, which tells you what a pessimist I normally am.  I won’t go any further into the details of how the acupuncturist actually puts the needles in and where or how long they are, just in case you are like my hubby and get queasy thinking about it.  Think about the most sensitive areas on your body.  I’ve probably had a needle there.  I’ve reached my current limit for typing (look at me, pacing myself).  Here’s to a more balanced large intestine for us all.

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