Fibronaut At Home

Still Needing That Do Over

I slept in late with my sick three-year-old because when she doesn’t get any sleep, neither do I.  In a moment of fibro-fog last night, I had the three-year-old drink a bunch of water before bed to try to make sure she wouldn’t start coughing when she laid down.  Someone turned off the bathroom light so when she got up to go she got scared, laid back down next to me and fell back to sleep.  You can guess what happened next.  1:30 am found me tearing the sheets off the bed and stumbling down the stairs to get her clean pajamas.  The rest of the night I kept waking up to make sure she didn’t need to go to the bathroom again.  Sleeping in until 10 am means nothing to me after all that.

I am still in a ton of pain, both Fibromyalgia and the PMS variety.  I feel like there’s a little clawed demon inside my womb, trying to claw it’s way out and I’m being haunted by a ghost who’s punching me in the vagina.  Maybe I’m wrong, but menopause can’t be this bad.  I already have hot flashes whenever I do more than sit on the couch.  My muscles all feel like jello.  I was so exhausted before picking up the kids from school that I thought I’d try to take a quarter of a nuvigil.  I am unimpressed so far.  The last time I took one I had energy but my pain was so bad it didn’t matter.  Today’s results are kind of the same.  I still hurt, I’m still tired and my muscles still feel like jello.  I decided to wash my kitchen curtains and vacuum the dust bunnies off the walls for some ridiculous reason and my arms are shaking and in pain.  My back is starting to spasm now.  At least I know why I was so depressed the last week.

I’m curious if anyone else has tried nuvigil and what results they had.  My doctor said that the patients he’s had try it have loved it.

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Go Away Winter

I did not realize how lucky I’ve been that we’ve had a mild winter.  The storm blowing in right now has my muscle spasming so painfully.  It is not a quick spasm either.  They last for three or four seconds and then I get a couple seconds break before they spasm again.  I’m getting a headache too.  It probably does not help that I was so foolish on Monday.  I thought I’d try driving to my doctor’s appointment over an hour away.  Even with relaxing at stoplights, deep breathing and making sure I relaxed in between, I couldn’t make the drive home and was so exhausted that I slept all the way home.  Yesterday my legs hurt but today my muscles along my hips and my muscles along my shins are spasming.

I am so tired of being a burden to everyone.  My hubby has to take of work to take me to appointments or my Mom takes me but then my hubby still has to drive me an hour and a half to her house, so that is three hours of him driving after he’s worked all day.  Then after my appointment my Mom drives me home and then drives herself home which amounts to almost four hours of driving for her.  I wanted to be able to drive myself to my appointment, but obviously that isn’t going to happen.

Just tried to do laundry but that is going to have to wait another day.  Just typing this is making my finger muscles and arm muscles cramp.  Hope the hubby can cook dinner.  If not, the eleven-year-old will be making us frozen pizzas again.

Quick note on my doctor’s appointment, my blood work showed inflammation so he upped my Naproxen and told me to up my Baclofen before bed to help me sleep better.  He’s concerned but wants to see if the Naproxen helps.

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Every Party Has a Pooper

My favorite quote from my Mom is “Every party has a pooper, that’s why we invited you”.  I always say it to my kids when they are pouting about something but this last week, I’ve been the party-pooper.  It started on Friday, when I lost my key-ring with my house key and post office box key.  I always check the mail on my way to pick up the kids from school.  I swore I put the key-ring back in my purse, but I couldn’t find it.  I assumed I had dropped it on the street while my little almost-three-year-old angel was poking me with a stick when I was putting her in her car seat but it wasn’t anywhere and hadn’t been turned in anywhere.  After hanging with my kids at the library where the little angel ran through the library for the entire half hour we were there and then hanging at the only park in town with the local wild life, I had had enough!  I was exhausted (as I am every afternoon) and I was cranky and I hurt.  I took the kids home, cut a screen and shoved my eight-year-old through the window.  I just couldn’t take it anymore and I snapped.  I was a damsel in distress with no prince charming in sight (or that’s what I told myself anyway).

My party-pooper weekend continued at my Mom’s Miche purse party.  I sat all propped up on the couch, with my feet in everybody’s face and pouted.  The poor sales rep and my Sister’s friend tried to make conversation with me, but I couldn’t even do that.  I was so tired from the hour-and-a-half drive that it was all I could do not to close my eyes and fall asleep.  I love purses, so why did I feel like I wanted to cry?  I won a prize and I couldn’t even get excited about that.  After about an hour, I ended up in the spare room watching HGTV and then movies with my kids.  That part was great.  It wasn’t until we were on our way home and I was talking to my hubby that it really hit me.  The sales rep had mentioned that Northern Colorado reminded her of Germany with the way the country is so open with little towns in between all the space.  I just kind of nodded at her and didn’t even offer up that I had been to Germany.  When I told my husband this, he nodded and said “you have no rapid reaction”.  I can’t even make conversation anymore because my reaction time to every thing is so slow.  The one good thing, was my sweet Mom bought me a purse (which is very cute and stylish and I love it) and as I was cleaning out my old purse, I realized that the pocket with my keys in it was completely empty!  When I jiggled it I could hear keys though.  I had a hole in my purse pocket and that is where my keys had gone!  All that drama thanks to a hole in my purse pocket.

It is 1:30 in the afternoon on Sunday of my party-pooper weekend and I’m sitting here, fatigued and in pain.  I’m also nauseated and having cramping because my lovely monthly-visitor stopped by.  I need a hug, but not to hard, because that’ll hurt too.  I’ve started doing a pilates DVD called “Pilates for Inflexible People” which I really like but I’m pretty sure that the 25-minute session I did on Friday was too much so I think I’ll skip today’s session.  I have laundry to do and I feel guilty because the rest of my family is outside working on our yard and I’m supposed to be cleaning house, but I’m still sitting here because my legs feel like they want to cede from my body.  I need a new body please?  My spasms have been slowly getting worse.  I did dream last night though and I can’t remember the last time I’ve done that.  Am I rambling again?  Oh!  Before I go, I have acupuncture on Tuesday and I’ll let you know how that goes.

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