Fibronaut At Home

Gluten Intolerance

I haven’t actually been diagnosed, except by my very wonderful acupuncturist, but having been off gluten for a month, I can report that I do feel much better.  If I needed any confirmation, I have it today.  We had dinner at Red Lobster last night and having been shut-down on a gluten-free menu so many times before, I didn’t even ask for it.  I had the maple glazed chicken with wild rice pilaf and broccoli.  This morning, I woke up hurting much worse than usual.  I called Red Lobster, had it confirmed that they do use wheat flour in the glaze but that they have a gluten-free menu that you can ask for.  So, if you’re thinking of going gluten-free, be sure to ask, even if the majority of people look at you like you’re speaking another language.

In the meds front, I’m trying to get off of the suboxone that I’ve been taking to help with the withdrawals and pain associated with addiction to opiates.  Not that I’m an addict.  I haven’t had one craving for my old pain pills, which didn’t help my pain at all.  Thanks to the neurologist that I used to see, as I think I’ve mentioned before, I was on narcotics for no good reason.  He was a jerk, who didn’t believe I was sick, so I’m glad I’m not seeing him anymore.  When I went to my new pain doctor, he explained that someone with fibromyalgia should never be put on narcotics.

My disability company called me yesterday to inform me that they would no longer be paying my claim.  No doctor filled out the work restrictions and there isn’t sufficient evidence to support my claim of fibromyalgia.  First of all, I didn’t diagnose myself, the a fore mentioned douche-bag, I mean, neurologist said that’s what I had.  Second of all, I called my current doctor, I’ll call him Dr. Wonderful, because the combo of him and his nursing staff are the bomb, and they never received the fax requesting work restrictions.  The disability company goes by the national norm for my job, which they consider a sedentary position and they think I can do that.  They don’t look at my specific employer and what they expect of me, which was to do the job of three or four people.  They look at what a loan processor is, probably at a big company, where everyone sits in their cubicle all day.  That was nowhere near what was expected of me, not to mention that doing the job of three people gives you the stress load of three people.

They also called me on a Friday afternoon, to tell me that they’d be mailing me a letter and I could see it then.  I was seeing red at this point, but did call back to ask them to fax it to me.  Reading the letter made me even more mad, especially the comments that the douche-bag, I mean neurologist, made about me walking with my young child.  Not carrying her.  Holding her hand and walking with her.  The ass also said that I always seemed better after the appointments and never seemed fatigued.  Could it be that I was more warmed up and able to move better after having been up and around?  How could he tell me that I needed to exercise and walking was a good exercise and then damn me by saying I was walking better at the end of the appointment?  I do have fatigue!  Every day!  Is he with me 24/7 to see that?  I guess I should’ve cancelled my appointments on my good days and only gone in on my horrible ones!

Lastly, I’m dealing with the shock of the mass-shooting at a theater that I used to go to, in my home-town of Aurora, Colorado.  It is 10 minutes from my Mom’s house and 2 minutes from where I used to work in high school.  The guy lived 5 minutes from my Mom’s house.  I just can’t believe that this would happen.  He killed kids.  My father-in-law wants to take my kids to see Batman today and I want them to go and have fun, but I’m scared.  What if there are copy-cats?  I’ll go see Ice Age with my three-year-old while my hubby and father-in-law take the older kids to Batman, but I’ll be worrying about them the entire time.  I really hope that people don’t judge Aurora or Colorado badly, from this one incident.  I have to point out that this person was from California and was only in Colorado going to college.  I would like anyone reading this to say a prayer for the victims and their families.  Hug your kiddos and loved ones a little tighter, even if it hurts.

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Day 6 of No Narcotics

I can’t really say whether my pain is worse or not.  Still having the big D, thanks either to withdrawals or antibiotics I’m on for a skin infection.  Yesterday was rough.  It was Easter and we invited some family over for an Easter egg hunt so that meant cleaning.  I washed the girls dresses (all the orange frosting from the cake fight came out) and sorted laundry, although I never got around to starting another load.  I swept and mopped the kitchen floor.  As I’ve mentioned before, my friends bought me a MINT automatic floor cleaner, but I have to pre-sweep and pre-mop before using it because of how bad my kitchen floor gets.  I’m not sure that my mommy dog Leia, who is in the kitchen with her three, two-week-old puppies, would appreciate it either.  I also vacuumed my daughters room, around the litter box and my living room floor.  I helped my hubby hide the Easter eggs and was the official photographer.

All that activity and the added stress of company and kids caused me to have a less than fun night.   The trips up and down the stairs had my ankles, knees and hips aching and spasming (Google says thats not a word but I use it all the time so Google can suck it).  The over-use of my right arm had painful spasms shooting from my shoulder up to my neck.  At first I tried rubbing vaporizing rub on my shoulder and the surrounding area.  That usually works, but that was when I was on pain medication.  Realizing that, I tried a couple ibuprofen.  Nothing.  Massage, heat, ice and repeat.  Nothing.  F-bombing did not help either.  The day before may have added to the pain.  We went to my daughter’s volleyball game and then to Denver for my Step-Dad’s 80th birthday party.  I was nauseated from the pain and fatigue about half-way through.  I am just now recalling my Step-Sister’s very steep stairs and steep driveway with several taller-than-normal steps.  That explains the knee and hip pain early on yesterday, before I even did anything.

Every day is a new day.  Take it one day at a time.  Kind of hard to do, when you have to think back on what you did the day before or the day before that to figure out why you are hurting so bad now.  My left arm is beginning to ache now, going up into my neck, probably from typing this, so I’m going to go take my muscle relaxer just as soon as I post this.  Then I guess I should shower and finally start that laundry from yesterday.  Laters Baby (“Fifty Shades of Gray”).


Day Two/Three of No Narcs

It is a good thing I know myself and that I set my alarm for my suboxone, otherwise I might have missed my dose for the day.  So far so, so, soooo good.  I say that because even though I have pain and fatigue, I don’t have the added blahs from the narcotics.  I probably over-did it yesterday and I fell asleep reading in a very awkward position but I’m hopeful that today will be a magnificent repeat of yesterday (minus the headache).  I did have a conversation with an acquaintance who has been down the same road recently (hers was a different drug and an addiction however) and she warned me that it wouldn’t hit me until the third day.  Which I think is today?  I stopped taking the oxycontin and percoset on Tuesday and today is Friday so….wait.  Is today day four?  I’m so confused.  Wednesday would be one day, Thursday would be two days and Friday makes three.  So I’m heading into day four.  Aren’t you glad I took you on that little trip with me to clear that up?  Welcome to Fibro-fog!

I’ve been thinking (OH NO!  Anything but that!) about exploring alternative medicine.  Acupuncture mostly.  I have a blogger friend who does this and loves it.  I’d also like to get back into the pilates that I used to do on occasion.  I used to have a video, but I think I sold all my workout videos in our last All-Around-Town garage sale.  The acupuncture, sadly, depends on whether insurance covers it. I’ll have to get on my library’s website to find a pilates DVD.  That is the plan anyway.  And, yes.  I did just make that up.  It is in my blog, so it must be.


In other, TMI news, I made my hubby blush with what I wrote in my blog yesterday.  “You put that in your blog!  Where anyone in the world can read it!”  When he put it that way, I guess it was a little forward of me.  However, if I’m really going to write about living with fibro, it would be remiss of me to leave out such a huge part of this “experience”.  My hubby and I used to have sex all the time.  And I LOVED it.  Who wouldn’t?  We will have been married 12 years come June and were not virgins on our wedding night.  That makes 14 years of having sex with the same person.  I’ll admit we started out rather awkwardly (I love that word) being both virgins, but 14 years is a lot of time to practice and with a little communication and a lot of honesty we were both very much happily satisfied.  Now, we are having to relearn everything and I really mean it when I say that you cannot teach an old horn-dog new tricks!  Well, you can, but it takes a lot longer than it used to.  I’ve always liked a little pain with my pleasure, but this is ridiculous.  It honestly feels like he has sandpaper on his Oscar-Meyer.  Because of the fibro, I had to remove the IUD I had.  I tried the ring, but it irritated me to the point of pain during intercourse.  We thought we’d just use condoms like in the olden days of our relationship, but those irritate me even more. Nobody wants to give me even more pills to take with the ones I’m already taking and although we’ve talked about my hubby going under the knife, he is still dragging his feet due to insurance deductible issues.  The pull-out method will hopefully see us through this difficult time without a pregnancy.  Yes.  I do realize how stupid this is.  I once gave a very painful and awkward (note to self: get a thesaurus) speech on birth control in high school.  I know that there are other ways to have “fun” but I already have neck and jaw spasms not to mention my over-active gag reflex.  I did put TMI ALERT in all caps.  I’ve already won the Fibro-Fighter Award.  Maybe I can win the TMI one too.

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Day One of No Narcs

I’m kind of over my anger at my old neurologist.  Not worth my time, frankly.  I had a couple moments last night, where I felt panicky and almost kind of shaky, like I might hyper-ventilate.  I don’t know how else to describe it.  TMI alert!  The diarrhea is an added bonus., not!  Nothing really exciting to report, except that my pain isn’t any worse despite not having the “pain” medications that I was used to.  Last night was more painful, but today I already loaded the dishwasher, started a load of laundry and went up and down the stairs a couple times (my laundry room is downstairs).  Don’t get me wrong, I still have pain and fatigue, but I’m under my heating blanket with my heating pad on my knees and that is helping.  One knee is starting to throb, so we’ll see.  My new doc also gave me something called suboxycodone that is supposed to help me with the withdrawal symptoms, but you put it under your tongue, wait (forever) for it to dissolve, and although they’ve flavored it with orange, that doesn’t cover the awful taste.

I can honestly say that I haven’t started craving the narcotics, but it is in my brain that it might help my pain if I take them.  I am not even going there though.  I’ve been trying to distract myself with Facebook and  I’ll probably start reading the new J.R. Ward book that I got from the library even though it is huge and I’ll have to balance it with pillows because it’s too heavy to hold in my hands.  I do have a Kindle but it was quicker to get it from the library in book form. Another TMI alert!  I’m actually feeling horny!  Hasn’t happened in way too long (read: forever to my husband).  Am I rambling?  Again?  What was I talking about?


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