Fibronaut At Home

Back to Work

I’ve been working at my new job for a couple weeks now.  I’m part time and the longest shift I’ve worked has been seven hours.  So far, so good.  Sometimes I have to stop and stretch and sometimes I forget to take my meds.  My body always tells me what I should be doing.  I bring a small snack for when I have to take my naproxen and I’ve been trying to drink tea instead of soda, when I can.  One night, I was so busy, I had to eat a jelly donut for dinner.  Not the best dinner, but it allowed me to take my meds and get a couple (hundred? thousand?) calories, so I wouldn’t fall over.

The mental aspect of going back to work is just as hard as the physical.  I write myself positive notes, and read them before I go in.  “I am so grateful for this opportunity,”  “I’m so happy to be working again,” “You are going to do great,” and “You got this.”  I ALWAYS smile at myself in the mirror and say, “This is going to be fun!”  If I have a setback, like a grumpy customer or something goes wrong, I just tell myself to shake it off.  I read a great quote somewhere that I come back to: “Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it.”  I just think of that, determine that I’m not going to let someone else’s sour mood affect me, and remind myself to be patient with myself and others.

I have a lot of former bank customers and former gas station customers that come in and that is always great.  I love talking to people again.  Then, I have someone come in who asks, “What happened?” as if the worst thing in the world is me, back at a gas station.  I’ve had a couple of these.  The first one was really tough and I felt a little defeated when he left.  Then, today, as I was thinking about the interaction, I remembered a conversation I had right before he came in.  One of my old gas station customers came in.  Every day, when picking up my kids from school, I drive by a bench in front of the high school that is dedicated to her son, who died two years ago.  Normally, I wouldn’t know what to say, but I offered my condolences anyway.  We talked for awhile and then she thanked me for remembering him.  She said, “I’ve found that for me, when he died, my world stopped, but for everyone else, it kept going.”

I cannot even begin to imagine the pain of losing a child.  My losses were nothing in comparison.  When I think about those first couple years after my diagnosis, I can relate to her description of the world stopping for me.  I am so fortunate that I had Fibromyalgia and CFS, even my anxiety and depression.  I didn’t have anything life-threatening, my family and children are healthy.  The experience was in no way easy for anyone in my life.  I’m so fortunate that I have such a supportive and understanding family, friends and husband.  I might be starting over, and I’m definitely not making what I made in the bank, but I’m confident that I’m right where I am supposed to be.

Tonight, when I had my second, “What happened?”, I smiled, said “I was sick, but now I’m better.” and left it at that.  I don’t have to explain and not everyone is going to get it anyway.

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The Happiness Project

I have finally started reading “The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun” by Gretchen Rubin.  Julie Ryan of Counting My Spoons, suggested the book to me months ago and I’m so glad that she did.  I’m only half-way through, but I already love the book and I’m heading back towards the totally awesome me that I found in April.  I’ve been in a slump lately, which is the main reason why I haven’t posted here.  I didn’t want anyone to know that I was struggling, though my hubby and my Mom knew.  I’m ecstatic and relieved that I’m back.

The main goal that is sticking with me now and that could be life-altering for anyone, but especially for others like me with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is, “Act the way you want to feel.”  I was already trying to do this and seeing that it worked for someone else, really helped me.  I think I went into a slump because I was starting to wonder if what I was doing was really working.  Rubin had a similar experience.  Reading that made me feel like I wasn’t alone in my doubts and gave me tools for combating the negative thoughts causing those doubts.

Even though I was doing all the right things, doubts crept in and the old conflict of to-work-or-not-to-work started playing havoc with my mind.  If I don’t work, there isn’t any money for extras and if I do work, there isn’t any time for extras.  I want a part-time job so I can still pick up the kids from school and spend my evenings and weekends with them, but most places only have full-time available, or I just can’t imagine working there.  I talk myself out of jobs before I even apply for them.  I have finally come to the conclusion that, when it’s right, it’ll happen.  When I find my mind going to that black hole of never-ending worry and what-ifs, I sing to myself, “Que sera, sera.  Whatever will be will be.”  A little silly, but it works.

We’ve also had extra stress dealing with some school issues.  I’m not going to go into it.  I think we’re almost through it and I can look back and see that despite all the stress, some good things have come out of going through this.

I’ve gone back to keeping track of all I accomplish each day.  Even if no one else notices, it makes me happy to see all these tasks completed.  I have a spreadsheet I found in Microsoft Excel that’s meant for a chores list, but works perfectly for me.  Each week, I’ll start a new spreadsheet, so I can look back and see how much progress I’ve made.  There are some tasks that I do daily, some I do twice a week or more and some I only do once a week or once a month.  I don’t have to look to my hubby or my kids for validation that I’m reaching goals.  I’ve also added several items since I started.

I’m learning to find the positive in every situation, no matter how bleak.  I’m learning to be grateful for where I am, who I’m with and everything that I once took for granted in life.  Those are some pretty big statements, but I’m confident in them.

I’ll probably post again about this book because there is so much helpful advice in it.  I would recommend this book to anyone, whether you feel like you are happy and especially if you don’t.

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Interpretive Dance Like No One’s Watching

My daughter Emma is the princess of interpretive dance.  It doesn’t matter where she is; if she hears a beat that catches her ear, she starts dancing.  This morning, as I’m listening to my playlist with Beyonce, Fergie, Jennifer Lopez, Shakira, Meghan Trainor, Destiny’s Child, Iggy Azalea and Nicki Minaj, it occurred to me that I do the same thing.  I’m better at hiding it in public than she is.  I only do shoulder movements, head bobs and swaying hips.  Um.  Maybe I’m not as good at hiding it as I think I am.

Sometimes I get bored with my same work-out DVD’s.  Even ordering different ones from the library doesn’t help.  I just like my music so much that I want to do those moves to songs I like listening to.  Cue interpretive dance as a workout.  I already find myself thinking of the moves I do with the DVD’s that would go with the beat I’m listening to.  I already dance around my house.  Any movement is more than sitting down doing nothing, right?  Hopefully, my hubby’s claim that no one can see me through the windows in the day is correct.  If not, I hope the neighbor’s appreciate the entertainment.

I’m also reminded of a conversation that I had with my Brother-in-Law.  He went to school to be a personal trainer, so whenever I have workout questions, I ask him.  When I was still couch-bound every day, I asked him if just tightening my abs while I sat there was working the muscles.  He said it did, which made me feel like at least I was doing something, even if I wasn’t in full sit-up or crunches mode.  Start small and build from there!

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GOOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!

I just had to.  We love watching soccer, but don’t actually watch a lot of it.  The World Cup has reminded us of our love for the game.  With our budget, we are on the family plan of Directv, and consequently, most of the games we watch are on the Spanish channel.  We don’t speak Spanish, but they sure add some excitement to the game.

Moving on….

This post has been simmering in my mind for a while now.  Setting goals for myself has been one of the most effective tools in my road to wellness.  I had to look back at my journal to find these.  I started simply, picked  goals that were the most important to me.  1.  Write in journal.  2.  Meditate.  3.  Yoga.  4.  Hug, kiss, love family.

These were my first goals that I set on November 7, 2012.  It is awesome to look back and see how far I’ve come!  At that point, I had started recording what I ate and what I did throughout the day to try and track where my pain was at and really focus on what I was putting into my body.  It really gave me a good idea of what I needed to change in my eating habits.

I found a revised set of goals on July 9, 2013.  1.  Shower.  2.  Journal.  3.  Meditate.  4.  Love.  The simplicity of this list may seem pointless to some, but at that time, I couldn’t handle more than that.  Those were the things I knew I needed to do to heal myself.  

I found “BABY STEPS” written in the margins a couple times and also this list of steps that I felt would help me “be healthy and happy both mentally and physically”.  1.  Focus on the positive.  2.  Offer encouragement.  3.  Yell less, hug more.  4.  Be a better listener.  5.  Be conscious of what you say.

By August 6, 2013, my goals had expanded to add friendship, blog, sew and clean.  I stopped writing in my journal after that.  At this point, I was trying to add getting my kids to school in the morning to my list.  That turned out to be a little too much for my energy level and our budget.  My husband was going that way so it made more sense for him to take them.  I let myself go backwards at that point.  I felt like I had no reason to get up in the morning.  Even if your life changes, there are certain things that are good to keep.  Getting up in the morning with my kids gave me time with them and I felt better with a set wake up time.

February 2014, I got back to my sleep schedule.  I set my alarm for 7 am whether I have anywhere to go or not.  I try to go to bed at the same time, knowing that even if I don’t or if something wakes me up (like my 5 year old kicking me in the face), I don’t have to let that ruin my day.  March 31, 2014, I started journaling again, keeping track of what I did all day; writing down what I was doing and the time I started.  My journal sat on the kitchen counter.  I was amazed by all that I accomplished in a day.  Writing down the time I started something made it crystal clear how long or short tasks took me to complete.  When you are on the internet or watching television all day, you lose so much time.  Tracking my time made me aware of how I was spending my time and let me set goals to spend that time better.

I set goals again, but they expanded beyond what I ever thought I’d be capable of again; feed the cats; straighten the bed; shower; clean the cat litter; dishes; straighten the bathroom.  I started with those things and built upon them.  It became a challenge to me.  I even wrote “no excuses” a couple of times.  There was no judgement if one day’s list was longer than another day’s.  Being kind to yourself, forgiving yourself and loving yourself is key.

May 21, 2014 was the last day I kept track of what I did all day.  I started to notice I was writing less and less of what I’d done with the time; not because I wasn’t doing anything, but because I was doing so much that it became tedious to stop by my journal all the time.  I feel so positive now, that I don’t need to chronicle every little achievement.  I can look at something, see the changes I’ve made in that part of my environment and feel pride in myself.  I don’t look at the things I do with a critical eye and I don’t talk down to myself.

I’m still the same person, I just look at everything differently.  I don’t wish things were different, I make them better, or I let it go.  It is a beautiful way to be.  Yesterday was kind of rough.  We did so much the two days prior and went to bed so late, that I was dragging butt all day long.  We went to a late lunch and then to an arcade/mini-golf place.  I mostly sat and read, while I let everyone else run after kids.  I just didn’t have any fuel in the tank.  And it was okay.  I was there, even if I wasn’t up to participating, I was there.

Today, I’ve already checked my garden, watered the lawn, posted to both blogs, and started laundry.  I have plans to finish laundry, weed the garden, do my Zumba DVD, and finish a skirt I started sewing last week.  I may even do more than that, but even if I don’t, it’ll still be okay.

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Where Do I Go From Here?

I received my letter detailing my Social Security unfavorable decision.  I received it Friday and finally got the nerve up to ready it today.  I didn’t want to ruin my weekend and I already had enough anxiety about going to Jury Duty on Monday.  Jury Duty went better than I expected.  The Jury Commissioner had a great sense of humor, which made everything easier.  I had to stay all day, but we had a lot of breaks in the morning, so I was okay.  The afternoon dragged on and on and I hurt much worse than I had in the morning, but sitting on a wooden bench, even with a back, will do that.  I still hurt today and I’m still tense, but that was to be expected.  I was able to stay positive about the whole experience.  I wasn’t picked to be on the Jury, but felt like even if I had been, I could have handled it.

Back to the real reason I’m so tense today.  Basically, the judge said I wasn’t believable.  Mostly due to the opinion of the first neurologist I saw, Dr. David Ewing.  If you are unfortunate enough to come across this doctor, run (or walk speedily, whatever works) in the opposite direction.  Nearly every lady with fibro that I know, when I tell them he was my doctor, they curse about him, say he’s the worst doctor for fibro or have some negative story about him.  Even my attorney has heard the horror stories.  If you are seeing a doctor who doesn’t listen to you and refuses to explore any other options than medication, same thing.  I’m not knocking fibromyalgia medications, I take prescription medications.  In my opinion, fibro and CFS require a doctor to think outside the box.  The thing that helped the most with my CFS has been thyroid medication.  No other doctor would even refer me to a doctor for my thyroid.  Even the doctors that diagnosed me with fibro and have seen me more recently were considered less credible (not sure if that’s the correct word) because the judge thought they based their opinion on my complaints.  He also said that there were no tests showing a reason for my pain and acknowledged that in cases of fibro and CFS that there aren’t.  Apparently, I only walked as if I was in pain some of the time.  I also told them that it doesn’t always hurt to walk, but whatever.

I feel discouraged.  I don’t think I can come back from a judge’s opinion and Dr. Ewing’s opinion that they don’t believe that my pain is to the extent that I’ve reported.  I’m pretty done with it.  I know a lot of people will tell me not to give up, but I don’t feel like that’s what I’m doing.  I’m recognizing their opinion and I understand why they feel that way.  I feel like the only thing I can do is accept this and move on.  Raging against this will accomplish nothing.

I have the support I need to do this.  My husband, his family and my family are awesome.  I’ve rekindled some friendships from high school that have healed me more than those beautiful women will know.  It’s a wonderful thing to know you can pick up the phone or get on Facebook and have a conversation with someone who knows you down to your soul and only wants what is best for you.  I have amazing examples to follow.  My Dad, my Step-Father (who I also call Dad), my Mother, both my Mothers-in-Law and my Father-in-Law have all worked with pain.  They haven’t given up and I can’t either.  Every day I wake up with one priority: To be a good example to my kids.  Every time I whine about my problems and find excuses not to do something, I’m telling them it’s okay to make excuses just because something is difficult or because I hurt.  I can’t do that.  It is not the example I want to set for my kids.  No matter how bad my pain or fatigue I want them to see me pushing myself, going outside my comfort zone and rolling with the punches of life.  If I am too tired or in too much pain, I explain that, but always before I have a little honest conversation with myself about why I’m really telling them no.

I’d also like to make a special request.  If you are going to make any negative comments towards me or my attorney, I really would rather you keep that to yourself.  I have to stay positive for my husband and my children and I cannot even entertain thoughts of unfairness.  Sometimes life is unfair.  The judge feels that I could be a teller at a bank and if it takes trying to do just that and seeing what happens, I’ll gladly do that.  Since my diagnosis I have learned one very important thing.  You never know until you try.  That’s all I can do.  Try.  My husband would chime in with the quote from Yoda, “Do or do not.  There is no try.”  That certainly applies in this case.  I made him a painting of this quote and I read it every day.  No more excuses.  The pain and the fatigue are going to be there, I need to learn to deal with it.

 

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Winning!

I was cleaning my house and debating on whether I should post about how much better I’m doing.  I worry about how others will perceive my progress. Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome are not contests to see who has the most pain or is the most tired.  A lot of the Fibromyalgia support sites I follow on Facebook have too much if a “woe is me” attitude.  There was a time when I needed that and when I needed to feel like people understood what I was going through.  Every day, I move more towards a feeling that I don’t want Fibromyalgia and CFS to be the only thing people think about when they see me.  I don’t want to talk about it all the time, like I used to. I want to hear about you and your beautiful life and all the awesome things you are doing, despite this illness.  I want to talk about how much better I’m doing without hearing, “So, you’re better now?”  No.  I will never be cured.
I love all my fellow sufferers but, we need to remember something: Fibromyalgia and CFS are not terminal.  If you are suffering from other things, I totally understand how it’ll be different for you.  Everyone’s experience is different.  We shouldn’t judge others based on their experiences and we shouldn’t judge ourselves either.  For me, I have to remind myself daily that life is what I make it.  I have choices from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed.  I have to “suck it up” and do what I know I need to do.  When we are playing games and my kids ask me, “Am I winning?”, I always ask, “Are you having fun?”.  If their answer is yes, I tell them they are winning.  I guess the next time someone asks me how I’m doing, I’ll say I’m winning.

(Picture a super-satisfied smile on my face right now.  That’s how much I love me right now)

 

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Music is My Favorite Medicine

No matter how I’m feeling, either physically or emotionally, music helps me get where I need to be more than anything else.  I’m sure I’d be in a lot more pain if I didn’t take my Naproxen and Baclofen.  I can’t sleep without a Baclofen and an Amitriptyline.  But the medicines I take aren’t always prescribed by the doctor.

Every night, I listen to Bedtime Beats: The Secret to Sleep after I take my nighttime meds at 9 pm.  They help me to chill out and focus on relaxation.  If I watch TV with my hubby, I usually have more trouble falling asleep, so I also limit that at night.

Every morning, I start my day sitting at my kitchen table (no bed laying or couch sitting when I’m trying to wake up), listening to American Authors, Young the Giant, The Ting Tings, New Politics, Paramore and OneRebuplic, just to name a few.  These bands all have songs that are very positive and encouraging.  They make me want to get up and get things done.  One of my favorites, that has really inspired me and become a mantra for me is Young the Giant’s, My Body.  The entire chorus is often sung at the top of my lungs:

My body tells me no 
But I won’t quit 
Cause I want more 
Cause I want more
My body tells me no 
But I won’t quit 
Cause I want more 
Cause I want more

I also love a song by Bleachers, I Wanna Get Better.  In my car or at my house, I sing the chorus and I believe it.  I do want to get better.  Every day I work on it and every day I make progress.

The entire American Authors album is awesome.  On Believer:

I’m just a believer
That things will get better
Some can take it or leave it
But I don’t wanna let it go

You guessed it.  I sing this at the top of my lungs too.  Don’t get me started on my family’s favorite, Best Day Of My Life.

I could go on and on about the music that puts me in the mood to kick some ass and take some names.  I also listen to Hip Hop, R&B, Rock, Folk and anything else that has a good beat and gets me out of my head.  Yesterday, there was some drama in my life and the song that snapped me out of it was Lily Allen’s, F*** You.  It’s a little bit naughty and if your offended by the f-bomb (the four letter word, not fibro, though, aren’t we all offended by fibro?), it may not be for you.  But when I’m angry, it helps to sing this at the top of my lungs and imagine that person standing in front of me.  I also really like Florence and the Machines’, Shake It Off.

Please share if you have any music that helps you get going.  I’m always looking for new songs to add to my “get off my butt” playlist.  I should also add that, while I like country music, it gets me all emotional, so I don’t generally listen to it.  Some Miranda Lambert, Carrie Underwood, Sugarland (their Incredible Machine album got me through some tough times), and The Band Perry is about all I can take.

Music is healing.  I cannot tell you the times a song has talked me down or lifted me up.  One of the most depressing things for me, at the beginning of my fibro, was not being able to shake my booty to the beat.  It devastated me.  Well, I’m very happy to say that I’m to the point where I can shake my booty again and often do.  It keeps me loose and makes me smile.  May you shake your booty like no one’s watching and sing like no one can hear you (even if your neighbors stare and all the dogs in the vicinity howl).

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New Philosophy

I have been doing everything differently the last couple months.  It has worked so well, that I can’t help but share.

I’ve been really working on staying positive in every moment of my day.  I’m so sensitive, everything in my environment affects my emotions.  People, places, music, atmosphere, things I’m reading or watching; You name it and it probably has an affect on how I’m feeling.  I start out my day with music that makes me happy, makes we want to dance or makes me want to sing.  If I feel a little blue, I don’t examine those feelings.  I’ve noticed, that if I get all up in my feelings early in the morning, it becomes more difficult to get out of them.  Setting the tone for the day as one for positivity and accomplishing goals has been the most important change I’ve made in my life.

I recently read an article (http://www.weather.com/health/why-its-better-be-morning-person-20140407) on The Weather Channel about how morning sunlight can affect your body.  As soon as I wake up in the morning, I open the shades, curtains, and if it’s warm enough, the front door.  I’m less likely to stay sitting on the couch when the sunlight is shining in.  I’ve been keeping to a schedule of waking up at the same time, even on the weekend.  No sleeping in for me.  I take less naps and have less fatigue during the day.  If I do get fatigued, I need less rest before I can get going again.

I have been spending less time on the couch and lost in the internet.  Accomplishing this is easier than it seems.  I started with the goals that I wanted to be off the couch by 10 am and showered by noon.  In one month, I am off the couch by 9 am and I feel guilty if I haven’t showered by 11 am.  I think I am most proud of this achievement.  Yesterday, I wasn’t on the couch, but I was on the internet for 3 hours in the morning.  I had such a hard time getting going after that, and while I made my goals for the day, I did little else.  Today, I decided to start things off positive and to limit my internet this morning.  It is almost 11 am and I’ve already done dishes (what little there was, I’ll go into that later), started laundry and showered.  I’m resting on the couch now, but blogging, which is okay, because I know I’ll be up after I finish this post.

The next change I’ve made has to do with time management.  This is so important for me, because I have a deep need to feel like I’m contributing to my household.  The more time I spend accomplishing tasks, the less time I spend on the couch.  I used to get fulfillment in this area from work.  Since I can no longer work, I have to find other ways to contribute.  I do this through housework, being there for my kids and my hubby and sewing.  If I try to examine in my head what I’ve accomplished during the day, I get stuck in my head.  Other thoughts pop in that are unnecessary, hurtful to myself and I forget a lot of what I’ve done.  To combat my bad memory and my negative thoughts, I’ve started to keep an accounting of what I’m doing during the day and how long these tasks take me.  My system is very simple.  I write down the time I’m starting an activity and what it is.  When I start a new task, I write down that start time.  Sometimes I combine activities or make notations in the sidelines if I forget to write down a time.  That’s it.  I don’t examine this later.  There are no judgments later, no in depth study of what I’ve done.  I just keep track and that helps me to recognize that I’m accomplishing more than I think.

I’ve been able to get more accomplished in my day and have added more goals.  My daily goals in the previous year have been to shower, journal or meditate, hug/kiss my kids and hubby and tell them I love them, and work on dishes or laundry.  I have since realized that there is more to most of my days than just that.  I feed my cats and clean their litter every day.  I straighten my bed and straighten the bathroom every day.  Just having those little things done, gives me something to be happy about.  I sew or look for inspiration for my sewing every day.  When I do get on the internet, I spend more time on Pinterest and less time on Facebook.

I’ve completely changed my philosophy on housework.  With housework, the more frequently you do something, the easier it is.  In the past, I let laundry pile up, dishes pile up, dust pile up.  I didn’t sweep or mop until the floor was so dirty and sticky, that I couldn’t stand it anymore.  I wrote before of trying to do laundry every day, but that was just too much.  I had the right idea, but the wrong plan.  Now, I try to do laundry as soon as the hamper in the bathroom is full.  This is the hamper that fills up the fastest and the one I see all the time.  Since the other hampers aren’t full yet, I end up with smaller loads.  Smaller loads are easier to haul, take less time to fold and take less energy all together, thereby making it much easier to pace myself while doing them.  It was kind of a “DUH!” moment for me when I realized how much easier it was to get laundry done when my loads were smaller.

I’ve been loading the dishwasher after meals and soaking pans right away (most of the time).  It takes about 5 minutes to scrape and rinse the dishes and throw them in the dishwasher.  Then, when the dishwasher is getting near full, I make a note on my daily accounting to remind myself to start the dishwasher after the next meal.  I also put the dishes away the same day they finish washing.  Then, I’m not tempted to let dishes pile up in the sink.  Soaking the pans make washing them so much easier.  That sounds like a no-brainer, but I had a hard time with pots before because I would try to scrub them like I was my pre-fibro self.  My cast iron skillets get scrubbed with hot water right away or they get boiled first.  I also wipe off my counters every day.  Seeing a clean counter, like having my bed straightened and my bathroom counters clean, give me a little boost of positive energy.

I’ve also been keeping up with my kitchen floors.  If I sweep a couple times a week and mop at least once a week, it takes me half the time that it used to.  I wipe off the toilet if it’s getting nasty and do the same thing with the bathroom counters and sink.  Spending 5 minutes of straightening each little part of my house, even resting in between, I can keep my house looking almost decent.  I’m still working on the vacuuming.  Our vacuum went kaput from all the long hair getting tangled in the roller and my hubby couldn’t fix it, which turned out to be a good thing.  We started using our old vacuum instead.  It is lighter and easier to push across the floor, so I can vacuum small areas.  Last week, I dusted for the first time in months.  I’ve always hated dusting, so I’m hoping I can keep up on this.  I’ve accepted that ceiling fans will never be something I can clean.  The hubby will have to do these and I will have to be persistent but patient in getting him to do these.

I hope you stuck with me through this post.  I know it’s long, but I hope it helps someone.  You can do this.  I know you can.  Keep positive, smile and be awesome.  I love you all.

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This might be working!

I am hesitant to post this, because I don’t want to jinx myself.  This is week 2 of taking an extra 30 micro grams of thyroid medication on M-W-F and I think I like the results.  I’m going to call my doctor to get my new prescription.  The last two weeks have contained some of the most positive days I remember having in a very long time.  Even with the pain and the fatigue factor, I am still able to remain positive.  I’ve been staying busy and been able to meet or exceed my goals.  I’ve even added daily goals!  I’ve had several days (last Thursday, Saturday, Sunday and yesterday) where I had some serious negativity or depression and frustration and those were days where I didn’t take the extra 30 micro grams.  Today, I’ve already had to pick up my daughter from school early and had an unexpected (but very positive) visit and I’m handling it like a champ.  I’m even considering going to visit someone with the kids after school.  I don’t want to go into details with that, but there could be some drama, which has kept me away for the past month, but I feel like I can handle it.  This is huge for me.  Even though I had some negative feelings after my last doctor’s appointment, he really has helped me.  No other doctor would even have touched the thyroid issue because my tests were in the “normal” range.  I guess the real test will be to see how I do once I start taking the higher dose.

I had to add brain fog as a tag, because I accidentally posted this on my sewing blog and had to go copy the body and delete the post from my sewing blog.  Where’s my pill for foggy brain?  Maybe another cup of coffee is in order.

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Snow Storm Positives

1.  My hubby picked up the kids from school, so I didn’t have to drive in the 6+ inches of snow.

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2.  This storm is the first this winter to not coincide with my period.  Seriously.  It started to feel like Mother Nature had something against me.

3.  The birds are cold and hunkering down in the bushes and trees and because of all the white, I can see them really well.

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4.  My Denver Broncos play in the Super Bowl this weekend.  I hadn’t planned on doing much anyway, but now I have the perfect excuse to not do anything.  I began my orange and blue nail painting today and I don’t want to have to do my nails again before Sunday.  Also, I need to really rest up if I don’t want to be completely bump-on-a-logging it next week.   Go Broncos!

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