My house is a disaster area and the next person who comments on it can clean it for me if it bothers them that much (hint, hint).
My 10-year-old and 8-year-old get themselves ready in the morning.
My 10-year-old and 8-year-old get their three-year-old sister ready in the morning too. I do sometimes lift my head from my pillow to offer groggy, bleary-eyed and often unnecessary advice. They are pros.
My husband gets himself ready in the morning (GASP!!!).
My husband gets himself out of bed in the morning (DOUBLE-GASP!!!)
I don’t do ironing. Seriously. Eventually the wrinkles smooth themselves out and that is what the “wrinkle-release” cycle on the dryer is for.
I always have laundry piled up, waiting to wash or dry or fold or put away. Have I mentioned I really love the “wrinkle-release” cycle on the dryer?
My children (with the exception of the three-year-old and my husband) fold their own laundry and put their own laundry away. Sometimes, they wash their own laundry.
I’ve made it one of my goals to do dishes every day. I said it’s a goal, not a sure-thing.
Although my daughters and I require zero aim when using the toilet, the two who do have to “shoot for the target” and are therefore the most likely ones to cause the curious yellow stains around (and I mean AROUND) the toilet have NEVER (that I can recall) cleaned the toilet. This isn’t really a confession, but a strongly worded hint. I mean, really. I only have so many “spoons” a day and to spend even a quarter of one of my spoons on the toilet is not only unfair, but cruel and unusual punishment.
My three-year-old gave me the nickname of “Sleepy-head-Mommy, wake-up!”
I don’t like to wash my hair every day and so I’ve gone poo-free so that my hair produces less oil and is less dry, requiring less maintenance. I wash my hair with a baking soda and water solution and only put conditioner on the ends. Don’t go “EWWW!” I watched several videos on YouTube and read several blogs before starting this. Google it.
I don’t clean the kitty litter until I either can’t stand it anymore or my husband complains about it. I would now tell my husband to refer to the first confession on this blog but Alice The Cat is my cat and he’d probably let her outside for the fox to eat if I started asking him to clean the litter.
Sometimes, when I’m feeling particularly bad (pain, fatigue, PMS, depressed) and my children start whining, I let them do whatever they want. Third bubble bath of the day? Sure! Play XBOX even though your room isn’t clean? Why not? Eat every junk-food item in the house in rapid succession? Your Dad will be home soon so don’t let him catch you eating that.
My husband is moving my three-year-old’s toys to behind the couch to try to contain her mess to that area. This isn’t a confession either, but I wanted someone else to laugh at him on that one with me.
“God made dirt and dirt don’t hurt” is my new motto.
Any and all word problems in my kids homework are saved for when Daddy gets home.
My three-year-old is potty trained but refuses to wipe herself after going #2. She instead hollers “Mom! I pooped!” It sometimes takes me so long to get there to help that she has started singing to herself while she waits. It’s almost like I’m on “Jeopardy”.
My kids have learned to read my lips. Especially when I’m mouthing “Ask your Dad.”
If what I wore to bed the night before is sweat pants and a t-shirt, I’m probably picking up my kids from school in it.
Actually, I should clarify. That was the old me. The new me has a new goal of taking a shower every day and so I usually do have clean clothes on by 2:30 pm when I pick up the kids from school. If I’m not going anywhere else, however, I immediately change back into my comfy clothes. Also, showering is another goal, not certainty.
The only reason, besides company coming over, that I clean my living room, is so I can do my yoga or my “Deepak Chopra’s: Leela” on the XBOX Kinect.
I don’t procrastinate. I just forget. Until it is too late. Then I remember.
How long does it take three kids, one husband and one fibro-fighter to clean a house? I’ll let you know if it ever happens.
Wait! I had a Celebrating Home party in March and my house was clean then. Unfortunately, that is the last time my house was clean.
My daughter once took a moldy sandwich to lunch for school. I swear that I checked that bread while making that sandwich. I’m also pretty sure that this happened before my diagnosis but I’m still using fibro-fog as an excuse.
I’m pretty sure I’ll think of more of these gems after I post this, but if I’m going to meet any of my “goals” today, I better get my butt off the couch. Besides, my daughter has a friend coming over after school today and I can’t see my living room floor. I jest. I can see my living room floor, it’s just covered with crap at the moment.